Daughter's efforts created special day for mothers
If Mother's Day for you evokes thoughts of overblown commercialism as well as warm, fuzzy feelings for mom, not only aren't you alone but you're expressing similar frustrations as the holiday's founder a century ago.
Anna Jarvis began working tirelessly back in 1905 to create a government-decreed day for mothers to rest. She envisioned that people would attend church and write notes to mother, living or deceased.
"It was not a day to go to dinner or buy presents or anything else," says Olive Badisman, director of the Anna Jarvis Birthplace Museum in Grafton, W.Va.
Jarvis was trying to honor her recently deceased mother, Ann Maria Reeves Jarvis, who had founded "Mother's Day Work Clubs" to improve health and sanitation conditions and lower children's mortality rates. (Anna Jarvis was one of 11 children, only four of whom made it to adulthood.)
Over the next decade, the Mother's Day campaign caught on, with many influential people joining. One year at her mother's church, Anna Jarvis distributed 500 white carnations — her mother's favorite flower and one that "never dies, it just withers," says Badisman.
Finally, the 1914 Congress and President Wilson established a day to emphasize women's roles in the family.
To Jarvis' outrage, florists, card and candy companies, and other businesses moved quickly to capitalize on the holiday's moneymaking potential. Jarvis unsuccessfully petitioned them to donate a small percentage of profits back to underprivileged women and children forced to live on "poor farms."
"They were making money off of her name and efforts," says Badisman, and for the rest of her life, Jarvis worked to de-commercialize and even rescind Mother's Day.
The holiday continues to be both a day to honor mothers, and a top-selling day for florists, restaurants and other businesses. Modern-day mothers celebrate it — or not — in their own ways.
For Kelly Donovan, 41, of El Cajon, Calif., the day is "way too commercialized." Too many people, she says, including her husband, "buy into the attitude that you need to give gifts to everyone who is some type of a mother."
Since her mother died, Donovan spends Mother's Day with her husband's mother and sister, but she'd prefer a day of "peace and quiet," a break from the stress of caring for her 8-year-old daughter and four stepchildren.
Exactly what Jarvis had in mind.
Likewise, new mom Christy Belisle, 33, of Spokane, Wash., would like a day to herself. She dreams of wandering around a mall, visiting a spa, sipping wine and eating on her own schedule, not the baby's.
Instead, she says, "I'll do the same old thing: probably get together with my grandma, mom, auntie, sister-in-law, and daughter and nieces, because my family dictates certain special occasions must be spent together or it is considered rude."
Others treasure the day and the time spent with family.
Says Lois Mirsky, 74, of Plymouth, Mass.: "I pay special attention to my daughters-in-law, because they take care of my sons and are bringing up my grandchildren."
Lynne Hickox, 44, of Bedford, Mass., loves Mother's Day. She starts at Mass, has breakfast with her husband and three children, then takes off for a "fun-filled afternoon of dining shopping, walking or sightseeing" with her mother and sisters.
Some people continue Jarvis' carnation tradition, wearing pink carnations to honor living moms, and white ones to honor the dead. Charlotte Christen, 67, and her daughter, Linda, 42, have breakfast every Mother's Day with Linda's children at the American Legion Hall in Bedford, Mass., which makes flowers available for guests.
"After breakfast, everybody is free for the rest of the day to do whatever they want to do," says Charlotte Christen.
Allie Thornbrue, 28, a mother of three in Sahuarita, Ariz., doesn't mark Mother's Day.
"A mother never stops being a mother, so the day is never exceptionally different from others. I'm still going to be washing dishes, changing diapers, etc.," she says. "Frankly, Mother's Day is a day when my husband can kiss me goodnight and thank me for all the hard work I do for the family."
