Welcome to the Final Four, the high school football edition.

Yes, my fellow football fiends, our prep season has come down to four teams from three different districts.

Who will win? Who will survive? I am here to tell you.

Why should I listen to you, you ask? Why should I believe a bird with a bird brain, you wonder?

Well, the numbers speak for themselves.

Because I'm right more than that Nostradamus dude — and my predictions are easier to read.

I was a big 7-0 last week to bring my record to 83-22 this season.

Even Kanye West thinks I'm the best ever. Even Taylor Swift is going to sing about me in her next musical monologue on "SNL."

I am king.

Of course, every time you think you can't be beat, bam! You get beat.

So I have to stay humble, like my role model, Chad Ochocinco.

On to the picks:

•

Hopewell 27, Mars 10 — The Fightin' Planets have been hard to score on lately.Mars blanked Trinity last week and has surrendered a mere field goal in the last two games.But this is Hopewell and Rushel Shell is back from his one-game hiatus.Shell is the leading runner in the WPIAL, which is fitting because the first four letters of Shell's first name spell out RUSH.Meanwhile, Mars back Austin Miele has a bad hammy, aggravating it again last week against Trinity.Miele is expected to play, but he played the last time the two teams met Sept. 11 and Hopewell ran away with a 47-22 win.This one should be closer, but Mars' great season will end.•

Karns City 32, Kane 12 — Come on. It's way too easy. Wait for it ... wait for it ... Kane won't be

able to keep up with KC.There. Now that's out of the way, here's why: the Gremlins simply are better.Kane has a good defense, but so does Karns City. The Gremlins will win this one going away.•

Brockway 32, Moniteau 31 — What? No love for the Warriors?I heart Moniteau, but I heart Brockway and quarterback Derek Buganza one point more.Moniteau has retooled its defense, but the Warriors haven't faced a passing threat like Buganza this season.The Brockway QB has thrown for 3,072 yards and 28 touchdowns. Buganza threw for more than 700 yards in one game — or more passing yards than all but three Butler County area quarterbacks accumulated in the entire season.This could be a shootout. I wouldn't be surprised if Moniteau did win this game, but my giblets tell me to go with the Rovers.•

Erie

Strong Vincent 24, Grove City 12 — The two teams are very similar. They run the same offense. They are both young and have more aversion to the passing game than Al Davis has to keeping a head coach for an entire season.This game could take about an hour. Strong Vincent is just a little stronger.Scoop will be back next week no matter what happens this weekend.