In loving memory of our beloved Mary Snodgrass, who passed away ten years ago today.

From the Eulogy at her mass of Christian Burial.

Mary

My Mother, (Our Mother)

"I remember thinking as a child that I would become rich someday, somehow and that I would give my mother all the things I could not give her then. Well, now I am able to do the things I had hoped for but my mother lies in a hospital bed suddenly stricken with cancer, still alive but unable to speak. She is the focus of a network of family, skilled medical staff, monitoring machines and tubes all directed toward keeping her physically alive and honed to deal with each crisis or alarm. I am afraid she will not recover and return home to "201" to the world she created with her life. My mother will never experience any of the material wealth I can offer. Now I know she never expected or wanted anything from me other than for me to love her and to know that she loved me.

She remains calm at the center of the web of love she nurtured with her life.

Even in the shadow of death she still radiates love and concern for those wrapped in her warmth.

Mother is a rare gift to us all. She is always accepting and rarely if ever judgmental. I know that we, her children, often took for granted and squandered what is truly a rare and astounding gift. Mother's quiet grace and understanding and her abilities to accept people without judgment and give of herself without condition or of her hospitality and resources without limit are so dazzling that upon reflection I realize that those fortunate enough to have been bathed in this rarefied atmosphere can be temporarily blinded to the fact that they too, because of her love, are unique in this world.

The true testament to mother by those affected by her will be to make sure that the spirit of her rare incarnation is continued and perpetuated by ourselves and the people who will be affected by us. Can we love without limit? Accept without judgment? Can we give of ourselves without reservation? Can we remember Mary, our Mother, as she was and dedicate ourselves to the simple and daunting emulation of her example? I hope that we can for our continued good and for the sake of the meaning of our mother's life.

When I look at my mother, so physically frail and vulnerable now, I have only to catch her eye and see how clearly she, her essence, is still there and focused and I know that she is still giving and hoping to do so forever. She will do this through us and through our children. If this gift is not continued and adopted by those touched by her life then sadly I think we will have a glimpse of the true nature of the finality of death.

So, at the end of her life I am not to be saddened by the memories of what I could or did not give to her or do for her but to be uplifted and challenged by what she gave to me and by the possibility of giving her to others through me."

Jim