Making it work
He's a member of the British royal family, he younger son of Charles, Prince of Wales, and Diana, Princess of Wales, and is sixth in the to the British throne.
Educated at the Royal Military Academy, he served two deployments in Afghanistan as a second lieutenant. He founded and remains a patron of the Invictus Games.
She is a now retired American actress who was married before and who describes herself as “half white and half black.”
Her father admitted to conspiring with a photographer to pose for photographs falsely peddled to news outlets as having been taken without his permission, and her estranged half -sister, announced last fall that she was writing a book — pure fiction, she insisted — called “The Diary of the Princess of Pushy's Sister.”
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle face more than just the ordinary challenges of newlyweds.
But the challenges can be met, especially if they have a plan, said Crista Boring, a relationship counselor with Balanced Minds, 127 S. McKean St.
“I would tell them to make sure they have a plan going in of the responsibilities for the marriage,” she said.
“Who's responsible for what and to focus on making their marriage flourish despite their family,” said Boring, “and to focus on each other.”
Obviously, she noted, ordinary life is different from the royals and arguing over whose responsibility it is to do the dishes isn't going to come up very much for Harry and Meghan, but it's important for them to know what part they are going to play in each other's lives.
Markle's decision to retire from acting and become the full-time Duchess of Sussex, which will be her title after the nuptials, seems to cement the part she will play in the marriage going forward.
Boring is optimistic about the marriage.
“There are plenty of things they seem to enjoy together, so I think they will have a lot of fun,” said Boring. “Their hearts are in the same place, they have a lot in common.”
And, she added, it helps they are both mature and used to being in the spotlight.
However, Boring's colleague at Balanced Minds, counselor Sarah Wagner, said it would be healthy for the newlyweds' relationship to keep a little from prying eyes.
“They should keep everything as private as possible,” Wagner said. “Keep off the social media.
“And keep a united front,” she suggested. “They need to be, to deal with all the advice and all the opinion that's going to be coming their way.”
“Work together and talk to each other about their concerns, that way they will withstand all external forces,” said Wagner.
Those external forces could include the eternal spotlights of the paparazzi, according to the Rev. Al Towberman, pastor of the St. Mark's Evangelical Lutheran Church, 201 W. Jefferson St.
Towberman, who conducts 20 to 25 pre-nuptial lessons for those about to me married annually, said. “I trust they have good spiritual counsel as well. But they must realize they can't live for the spotlight.”
His advice for the prince and his soon-to-be bride, Towberman said, “You are not what you do, but who you are. Be yourself.” Although he did concede, it will be more difficult for the royals than the usual soon-to-be-wedded couples he counsels through three two-hour sessions.
“First, we look at what makes a Christian marriage,” said Towberman. “Then we look at the gifts and the weaknesses each are bringing to the wedding that need to be dealt with.“Finally, we look at the options for the wedding service,” he said. “It's not just a wedding service, it's a time of worship.”The royal wedding will be held at St. George's chapel inside Windsor Castle starting at midday UK time and the royal family likes to run on time.The service will be conducted by Reverend David Conner and officiated by Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby, who baptized Meghan Markle into the Church of England in a top secret service in the weeks before the wedding.The wedding reception will be held at St George's Hall, followed by a private evening shindig at Frogmore House.No word on what instructions, if any, Markle, who was raised Prostestant but attended a private Catholic high school in Los Angeles, received before her baptism, but the Rev. Barry Keurulainen, pastor of St. Luke's Lutheran Church, 330 Hannahstown Road, Cabot, said he conducts pre-nuptial lessons for 15 to 20 couples a year at his church.“One of the things we do is to establish attainable, measurable goals for the marriage,” he said. These can be goals involving romantic friendship, spirituality and personal goals.“It's easy to fall in love, the trick is staying in love,” said Keurulainen, which is why he considers pre-nuptial counseling very important.“Another lesson is establishing healthy boundaries, when is it important for time together or time apart. I imagine this would be important when dealing with the royal family,” he said.Another of the sessions, Keurulainen said, deals with “focusing on issues that could be a speed bump in the relationship.”But in the end, said Towberman, Harry and Meghan's marriage will be on solid ground, if “they take the time to love, smile, laugh and enjoy each other.”
