Couples share advice for making marriage last
Falling in love can be romantic, but staying in love is the true achievement. This Valentine's Day some longtime couples reflect on what it takes to stay committed and in love.
Mike and Maryella Metrick of Butler will mark their 52nd wedding anniversary this September.
They met and started going out in junior high. They dated for seven and a half years before they got married when she was 20 and he was 21.
The Metricks say they don't have any magic formula for being together and happy for a long time.
Maryella Metrick said, “There's no trick. It's just compromising, I guess. Working things out, tolerating and accepting each other.”
Her spouse had a more pragmatic reason for staying together.
“We went together for seven and a half years,” he said. “I had a lot invested in this even before we got married.
“You have to live your life the way you are supposed to. There's not too much more you can say,” he said.
<b>Fun job</b>Marriage isn't all moonlight and chocolate. It's more like punching a time clock said Jeanne Utz of Valencia, who's been married to her husband, John, for 70 years.She said there has to be give and take.“I always say marriage is like a job. You have to work at it every day,” she said.“Of course, we've been very blessed. We love each other but we work at it,” Utz said.“Too many think their marriage is going to work out perfectly,” she said. “You've got to go with the flow and work at it. Too many people are not willing to put in the time to work on their marriage.”“Marriage is like work in some ways, if much nicer,” said John Utz, who still works three days a week, nine months a year as a financial planner.“You can't have fun at work unless you are good at it,” he added.<b>Talking points </b>Communication is the key to a long relationship, according to Larry and Shirley Osburn of Harrisville, who might have some experience in the matter having known each other since they were 16 and 15 respectively. They have been married for 54 years.Shirley Osburn said they met while roller-skating when they were both teenagers attending Slippery Area Rock High School.After six years of dating, including a four-year stint Larry served in the Navy, they got married when he got out of the service in 1966.“Be a good listener,” said Shirley Osburn. “There's a lot of compromising.”Her spouse agreed.“You just listen and you talk to one another and be patient,” said Larry Osburn. “We always got along good. We never had any big battles.”
<b>Divine guidance</b>Sometimes a long-married couple attributes their relationship's longevity to a higher power.David and Zelma “Mickey” Fisher think they've had a little divine help in their 70 years of marriage.Fisher, who's been pastor of Homeacre Chapel, 340 Whitestown Road, since 1956, said, “One thing is we both love the Lord and look to him for guidance and help. He put us here to be together.“The biblical principles of marriage keep us together,” Fisher said. “ 'For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two of them shall be one flesh.' ” (Ephesians 5:31)“The two shall be as one. It is pretty hard to get away from one flesh,” said Fisher.He conceded he and his wife have had their ups and downs but the principles of God's love and agape or unconditional love have kept their bond strong.
Or maybe it's their six children who have tied them together, said his spouse.“We like to say we were too young to get married and that we grew up together,” Zelma “Mickey” Fisher said.She noted they got married at 19 after meeting in high school in Ohio.But no matter the travails they've gone through, they've never forgotten their wedding anniversary, Fisher said.They were married on Valentine's Day.“We intended to do it,” Fisher said. “We were pretty smart. They advertise our anniversary every year.”
