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Steelers' year comes to merciful conclusion

The Steelers, 87, of Pittsburgh died at approximately 7:20 p.m. Sunday at M&T Bank Stadium in Baltimore due to a series of debilitating illnesses.

Death came mercifully following months of a lifeless offense and the rapid deterioration of the ability to move the ball and score points.

Born in 1933, the Steelers were the proud creation of Art Rooney and had won six NFL championships.

They are survived by Le’Veon Bell of a New York bowling alley, Antonio Brown of the cavernous space inside his own head and Ben Roethlisberger of the buffet line.

The Steelers enjoyed playing wide-open offense with Big Ben throwing for touchdowns, Bell racking up all-purpose yardage and Brown having his business be boomin’.

The team also enjoyed scoring points, making the NFL playoffs and winning the occasional postseason game before losing at New England.

But all that changed in recent years.

Bell stopped working for a year and was transplanted to New York.

The few neurons remaining in Brown’s scrambled noggin began to misfire, resulting in his trade demand and an odyssey this season that carried him from Pittsburgh to Oakland to New England to Crazyville, where he now resides.

Then the wear and tear of 15-plus seasons and 7,230 passes caused the tendons in Ben Roethlisberger’s elbow to snap simultaneously during the second game of the season.

Now, his belt is snapping and he’s wondering if he will be the same next year.

With the soul of the offense gone, the body soon failed.

JuJu Smith-Schuster went down. So did James Conner. The Steelers relied increasingly on unproven and untested commodities to keep themselves alive.

Guys like Devlin “Duck” Hodges.

Guys like Kerrith Whyte.

Guys like Deon Cain (not Superman Dean Cain.)

The defense, the team’s immune system, fought hard, but couldn’t make up for a withering, frail offense.

T.J. Watt, Minkah Fitzpatrick, Bud Dupree and Cameron Heyward kept the Steelers on life support far longer than they really should have been.

Friends of the Steelers, who in reality died Sept. 15 when Big Ben’s elbow exploded, will be received on YouTube as they watch great games from the team’s past.

Entombment can be seen on CBS, FOX, NBC, ESPN and the NFL Network throughout the Steeler-less postseason and Super Bowl.

But, hey, at least the Browns perished, too.

Mike Kilroy is a staff writer for the Butler Eagle.

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