Blitzen says 'It's all about doing the job and doing it right'
Dasher and Dancer because they are at the head of Santa's team get a lot of attention and Rudolph, poor kid, has the songs and the cartoons, but I'm the one that's the big guy's favorite, me, Blitzen.
Why do you think Santa has me harnessed up directly in front of where he sits on the sleigh? Because he trusts me to hear his instructions and pass them on to the rest of the team.
Sure, Dasher and Dancer do their job with a lot of flash. That's because they are at the head of the team and out in front, so they get to indulge in a lot of hoof waving and antler tossing.
Me, I prefer to do the job with a lot less drama and theatrics. Where I'm at, snorting and bucking and acting the diva would only get the harnesses fouled up.
And it's not like I couldn't leave those two in the dust. I don't get to show it much, but I'm much faster than those two. My name means “lightning” in German you know.
Of course, Rudolph helps out when the fog gets bad or we know we are going to be flying through a cyclone bomb of a storm, but more often than not, the weather is clear and Rudolph gets left in the barn come Christmas Eve.
And that TV show, please. Donner was never that big of a jerk to his son. Let's just say there was a lot of “artistic license” taken.
Me, I've been every one of Santa's flights since they started. Haven't missed one yet and don't intend to.
It's all about doing the job and doing it right. And Santa counts on me to make sure we are straightened up and flying right.
There's always a lot of questions about our annual flight, like how does Santa visit every house in the world on one night?
There's a bunch of talk about a “chronosynclastic infundibulum effect” or elfin magic, but I don't have time for all that deep thinking. I just get on with the task at hand. If Santa needs to double back to Irkutsk while over the Arctic Sea, I'm the one to make it happen.
During the flight it's all find the next stop, watch out for the wind shears and plot the fastest route to Fairbanks. It goes by in a blink and before you know it we're on a glide pattern back to the North Pole.
And when we're done, I literally sleep for a week. Take a day or two off to celebrate the New Year and then it's time to review the after-action reports and start working on how we can make the deliveries smoother and faster next year.
Santa appreciates that more than any fancy midair pirouettes when we're over La Paz and falling behind schedule.