College students will soon be homeward-bound for winter break. The holidays can be equally tough for parents and their college students.

Parents often feel that they’re walking a tightrope of unpredictable emotions. One parent confided to me that “we want to hear what’s going on in their lives, but we don’t want to pry. We want them to catch up with their high school friends, but we don’t want to be left out, either.”

What’s a parent to do?

It’s all about balance, isn’t it? We miss them, we love having them home and honestly, we love when they go back and our homes can retain a sense of normalcy. Striking that perfect balance isn’t easy. Here are a few suggestions to make the reunion both meaningful and uneventful:

Let them sleep. Expect a lot of zzz-time. They’ve probably just had exams, and sleeping is a great way for them de-stress and catch up.

Ditch the curfews. Have an adult conversation that lets them know that you trust them, but be firm about your concern for their safety.

Recognize that their priorities might be different from yours. They need to re-establish themselves at home, and reconnecting with friends can sometimes re-create unwanted drama from high school. Most students thankfully see their family as their rock of support, the people who will always be there for them, but they aren’t always as appreciative as you might like.

Manage your own expectations and share the expectations you have for them with them directly. Check with them before they come home to see what plans they’ve made. Don’t be melodramatic or overly demanding of their time.

Strike a balance and don’t assume they want to be with you every moment of every day, but at the same time, don’t assume they don’t want to join you.

Be prepared for moodiness. They’re dealing with lots of emotions, and they need a safe haven. It can be confusing for them to determine where exactly “home” is.

Let the chores slide, but don’t allow them to take advantage of your generosity. So, yes, they can clear dishes and help out around the kitchen, etc., but it’s probably not a great idea to present them with a “honey-do” list of tasks they need to get done before they head back.

Lee Shulman Bierer is an independent college adviser based in Charlotte, N.C. Visit her website CollegeAdmissionsStrategies.com.