Cheryl Schaefer

When Cheryl Schaefer, coordinator of the Butler Breast Cancer and Women’s Cancer Support Group, was battling breast cancer, a friend would bring her chicken noodle soup on a regular basis.

It was a benevolent gesture, “but chicken noodle soup doesn’t make everything better,” said the 58-year-old Center Township resident.

“If you haven’t been there, done that, you can’t really understand what they’re going through,” Schaefer said. “Doctors can sympathize, but they haven’t been there.”

The Butler Breast Cancer and Women’s Cancer Support Group meets the first Tuesday of each month. Schaefer arranges for an expert to speak at every other meeting, but on the other occasions, the group hears from the “real experts” — cancer patients and survivors — through open discussion.

She says that members offer advice to one another and share their individual treatment experiences. They often compare symptoms caused by medications and give tips, such as how using plastic forks and spoons can decrease the nasty, metallic taste that patients might experience with regular silverware. Other times, it can serve as a much needed venting session.

“It’s both exhausting and frustrating,” Schaefer said. “You feel inadequate.”

She recalls the countless times when people would say, “Let me know if you need anything.” And during her first encounter with breast cancer, her husband and son voluntarily took over the house chores, so there are items that have been lost for more than a decade now.

“You have to be polite and say ‘thank you,’” Schaefer said, “but you want to be independent and do things yourself.”

Schaefer became the support group’s leader in 2000, when she was diagnosed with stage II breast cancer and had her first mastectomy. At that time, group founder Phyllis Schawaler begged Schaefer to “please, take over the group.” Schawaler, who began the group in 1995, died in July 2009.

Schaefer, a former nurse and disabled veteran, now considers “fighting cancer” her full-time job. She runs errands for the support group throughout the day, and when home, she returns the telephone calls she missed, no matter how late it is.

One Saturday night, she found herself talking until 1 a.m. to a cancer patient about proper diet and nutritional supplements. Even on the weekends, she doesn’t take time off, frequently attending local cancer benefits.

“I would love to see a cure or at least a way to put it (cancer) in check,” Schaefer said. “There have been tremendous improvements every year, and I’m always excited when they come up with something new.”

As a cancer survivor who still undergoes testing and treatment, Schaefer personally relates to support group members. After her first battle against breast cancer in 2000, she was diagnosed again, this time with stage IV breast cancer in 2008 and had a second mastectomy. In 1990, she beat uterine cancer, and earlier this year, her thyroid was removed when she was diagnosed with stage II thyroid cancer.

The support group always has more members signing up, but attendance at meetings varies.

“If people miss a meeting because they have an appointment, that’s fine. If they want to bring their husband ... their kids, that’s fine,” Schaefer said. “If they need to leave early because they feel tired or don’t like to drive in the dark, that’s fine.”

Schaefer brings her husband occasionally to meetings. He’s been her biggest supporter through each of her cancer battles, even leading the group when Schaefer couldn’t.

Cancer doesn’t discriminate; neither does the support group, where members come from every walk of life. There are young mothers, grandmothers and men. While some members only stay a short time, some cancer survivors have been with the group for 15 to 20 years.

“We’re like a family, and sometimes we become closer than a family. We’re sisters, not by birth, but by chance,” Schaefer said.

To join, people can contact Schaefer at 724-282-4421 or attend one of the meetings, which are from 7 to 9 p.m. the first Tuesday of the month on the first floor of the BHS Crossroads campus building.