You've heard all the talk of a job-market reversal. How employers are making nice to attract all the hires they need.

If only — according to employment coaches, headhunters and recent job applicants.

Most resumes don't get so much as a computer-automated acknowledgment that they arrived, this group said. And don't bother sitting by the phone after an interview, hoping they'll call.

This is as true as it was five years ago, and not just for entry-level jobs, they said.

It's not a picnic for employers either, human resource professionals complain.

One example: Within an hour of posting a job online, a company recruiter got 125 responses — but fewer than 25 came close to the clearly specified requirements. She wrote about the issue recently on a discussion board attached to Workforce Management, an HR publication. Do such applicants really expect a response, she asked?

"I don't see anything getting kinder out there," said Kevin Donlin in Edina, Minn., a resume specialist and creator of the GetHiredNow.TV blog.

"I'm thinking people are getting more jaded," Donlin said. "They kinda don't expect a polite response."

Darcelle Hannaman, 44, of Bloomington, Minn., said she had a bad experience when she applied last summer for a promotion at the College of St. Catherine in St. Paul. Hannaman, a technical help desk coordinator, applied for a job as a data base administrator.

"I found out I didn't get the job when a manager sent out an e-mail saying, 'Please congratulate your colleague on her new job,"' — the one she had applied for, she said.

She sent an e-mail to the HR department complaining, and got no response, she said. An e-mail telling Hannaman she was not selected arrived the next day.

"It's not like I'm hard to find," Hannaman said. "When you're looking to grow, the feedback you need is somebody telling you, 'Here's what you're lacking and here are the ways you can develop that."'

The college doesn't comment on individual employment cases, spokeswoman Julie Michener said. However, its policies do call for hiring managers to inform internal applicants if they have or haven't been selected for an interview, she said.

"We strive to be very professional and humane in all our dealings with people," Michener said.

Adam Benscoter of St. Paul might be the exception that proves the rule.

Benscoter, 26, applied for a job at a Twin Cities marketing and advertising agency, which he didn't want to name. He went through two rounds of interviews, and about two days later he got a call saying he wasn't hired.

"The manager said they really liked me, and she explained what I was lacking, and told me to stay in touch," he said. "It was all so respectful. I couldn't feel better about a rejection."

Judith Glaser, a workplace communications consultant in New York, believes that many companies are getting the hang of such civil candor.

It's the wise way to go, Glaser said, "because everybody who's applying for a job has friends someplace else, and people gossip about everything."

Donlin, on the other hand, sees a lot of employers delivering the bad news through e-mails.

"There's no chance anyone's going to yell at you," he said.

Nick Corcodilos, author of the book and Web site "Ask the Headhunter," has some advice for both sides.

Less is more for employers, said the New Jersey-based headhunter. Instead of advertising jobs where thousands of people will respond — online jobs boards or newspaper classifieds — look for ways to reach only good candidates. He mentioned one recruiter who figured out which esoteric technical terms the engineers she needed would use, then searched for people online whose names came up in connection with those words.

"Even if I were hiring for a factory production line, the first thing I'd do is go ask my production team if they knew anybody who'd be good in the job," Corcodilos said.

As for job hunters, he recommends they find the good trade publications in their field, go to their online discussion boards and ask around about a potential employer.

If applicants feel they've been treated shabbily, he recommends that they write a calm letter to the head of the department with copies sent down the line.

The message: "I applied for a job at your company. I wasn't hired, and I understand people don't get hired for every job they apply for. However, I think you would like to know how I was treated."

H.J. Cummins is a workplace columnist and reporter at the Star Tribune Minneapolis. She can be reached at workandlifestartribune.com