"Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" is so bad, it's almost funny. But not in a good way.

The 6-year-old original, "Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo," had some amusing riffs, and the salacious sequel contains occasional glimmers of verbal wit. But those rare moments are sabotaged by the film's overall grossness.

Once again, Rob Schneider plays accident-prone Deuce, who journeys to naughty, bawdy Amsterdam to help buddy T.J. (Eddie Griffin) solve the serial killings of European gigolos. It's not that T.J. is an honest law enforcer. He's just a greedy pimp who doesn't want his work force reduced. From there, the film dissolves into a pageant of stupidity and crudity. Schneider and Griffin share a solid rapport, which is more than can be said for the actors and the audience.

Schneider is also the film's co-writer, and its noisy bomb places him in a no-win situation. He earned publicity in February by responding to a Los Angeles Times story written by Patrick Goldstein. The article bemoaned the parade of lackluster sequels and sarcastically mentioned that the first "Deuce Bigalow" flick had been slighted at Oscar time since no category exists "for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic."

Schneider took out a trade paper ad stating that Goldstein "didn't win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven't invented a category for Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter."

Sorry, Mr. Schneider, but the joke's on you. The new film contains a smorgasbord of would-be humor about male and female private parts, both large and small, but none are clever.