Lasting Love
It takes two special people to commit to each other.
It takes effort to keep a marriage working.
Butler County has plenty of couples who mastered the mystical art of long-tenured marriages.
Her superheroJoe Randig moved into the living room of the couple's Butler home, supported by crutches, with a pile of poetry under his arm.His wife, Linda, wrote the poems, some singularly, others in collections. Many of them are about Joe.Joe contracted polio when he was 5 years old. In addition to his crutches, he has braces on his legs.As Joe methodically fiddles with a specialized chair that raises to him to help him sit down, Linda watches with admiration.Joe places the poems on his lap and sifts through the pile to find his favorites.Many of the poems she has written to him over the years liken him to a superhero.“I came to the conclusion that God put me on Earth to take care of Joe: to love him and care for him to the best of my ability,” she said.The Butler residents married April 27, 1968 — 52 years ago.“I always knew. I knew the minute I saw him,” Linda said. “I think it took him a little longer.”As Linda recalled, they met through mutual friends. He was a senior and she a junior at Butler Area High School.Meeting around Christmas, Joe asked Linda to midnight Mass. Linda, who is not Catholic, declined, but agreed to dinner and a movie a few days later.“We went to a movie. Then we went across the street to the Burger Hut and got burgers,” Linda said.They saw “The Disorderly Orderly” with Jerry Lewis. That was Joe's pick, according to Linda.A quiet man, Joe smiled and agreed.Their favorite memory together was a long-planned trip to London, a trip that Linda dreamed of for years. The couple saved and saved.“Our trip to London was something we really worked on and put a lot of effort into it,” Joe said.“We're planners. We don't really do things on the spur of the moment, so we planned the life out of that trip,” Linda said.Joe's health or physical limitations never affected the moments they shared.Post-polio syndrome surfaced a few years ago for Joe, making life even more difficult. Daily tasks such as washing dishes or even moving around the house have become challenging for him.“He can do less, and so I do more,” Linda said. “Marriage is never 50-50.”For Linda and Joe, their lives have at times been a struggle, but they moved forward together.“It's really been worth it. All the hurdles you get over and the things you go through, and then you end up here, you look at each other and say, 'Wow, we've done it,' ” Linda said.
<b>Forever Valentine</b>Many couples who achieve the milestone of a more than 50-year marriage met in high school.Such is the case with John and Patty Swidzinski of Butler, who married May 9, 1953, 66 years ago.Patty said she loves John every day, but especially on Valentine's Day, and not for the reasons you might think.“Every Valentine's Day is a good day because that's his birthday,” she said.John turns 90 years old on Friday.“If I make it,” he joked.They met at Butler Area High School. They were in the Class of 1949.“I was in an English class. Johnny was always late because he had to milk the cows before school,” Patty said. “We were sophomores (at the time).”But marriage waited for a time, and the Swidzinskis' relationship was challenged by distance and work for the first few years after they graduated.“She went to school to be a nurse, and I went into the service,” said John, a U.S. National Guard veteran.Patty said dating each other was difficult during that time. She was attending the Butler School of Nursing at Butler Memorial Hospital. She saw John on some weekends, but even that was difficult due to curfews at her dormitory near the hospital.“We weren't allowed out after 9 o'clock,” she said.John finished his time in the National Guard and Patty completed school, but she had one request before they tied the knot.“I wanted to work for one year before we got married,” Patty said.So they did, and then shortly after their marriage, they began their family.Over the years, they have stayed healthy by walking together. They also liked to go to their hunting camp, and play cards — together.John said being married is easy.“You have to get a good woman like I've got,” he said.Patty said the important thing she learned was to remind herself that they were friends first.“You have to talk to each other,” she said. “You can't be mad at each other all day. You have to be friends, and we're good friends.”<b>Love tap</b>Not many couples make it to 50 years. Fewer make it to 60.Joe and Marge Furka of Butler have been together for more than 70 years.The Furkas married Feb. 7, 1947 — 73 years ago.Marge found herself at a church dance when Joe, instead of asking her to dance, asked her out.Then, Marge said, he got lost trying to find her place.“We (my family) only lived 12 miles from town, but it took him 28 miles to find me,” Marge said.Along the way, they picked up some friends for a movie at the Majestic Theatre in Butler, and later these same friends and Joe were disrupting the movie.
“The guys were fighting, and I hit him (Joe) right in the chin,” Marge said. “All of the Majestic Theatre was laughing.”When the Furkas met, Joe had recently finished a tour with the U.S. Navy. Marge was still in high school.The couple got married not long after she graduated in 1947. Marge continued to work on her family's farm.“I worked on the farm,” she said. “Not him. He was a city guy.”After about five years, they saved enough money and bought the home in which they still live. During that time, they also started their extensive family.They had seven children and didn't shy away from adventure with toddlers in tow.“For seven kids, we did a lot of things in our life. Life with no limits, you know,” Marge said.The Furkas loved to travel. They took the children to places such as New York City, Canada and the North Pole.“We used to sleep on benches or something. We had no fear. We lived in a good era,” Marge said.Joe said doing so saved them money and allowed them longer stays.“If we got to the motel, we're going to spend our money and go home,” he said.Without the children, they traveled west and anywhere their motorcycle would take them. Marge stopped riding a few years ago. Joe still takes the bike out for a spin from time to time.“I've been everywhere,” Joe said. “Now they say, 'Where are you going?' I say, 'Up to Highfield, Meridian, Renfrew, Route 8 and back to my garage.' ”Joe and Marge pride themselves on living free and advise others to do the same.Joe said the couple has never used a credit card, and if they owe money to someone, they pay it in full within three months. That's their rule.“I'm not envious of what anybody has. What's theirs is theirs, what's ours is ours. We worked for everything we got. And still working.” said Joe, nodding toward Marge, who still does some day work.Marge said the only bad part about being married — and living — so long is that not everyone's life has the same trajectory.Three of their children have died, among other relatives.However, the sting of those losses is eased when they consider the upside of long lives.They now have 20 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren and eight great-great grandchildren.“At Christmas, we had 51 people here,” Marge said.Marge and Joe said every moment with their family is a gift and they will cherish it for the rest of their lives.“I always asked God for seven kids, but he never told me how much happiness and how much sorrow and how much trouble came with that,” Marge said. “(But) to worry is a waste of time.”
