“The rules are there are no rules.” That is a quote from the movie musical “Grease.”

They were talking about racing their jazzed-up cars. We are talking about government decision making. It is with hopeless disregard that anyone ventures into the realm of how government decisions get made.

What exactly is an essential worker or an essential business? Does life-sustaining mean you have to be able to perform heart surgery or at least the Heimlich maneuver? Is there a threshold for revenue generation that makes you essential? Does a beer distributor bring in that many more tax dollars than a liquor store that it becomes essential to someone making decisions in Harrisburg? And what was in someone’s mind that would make them think that in a county that is 795 square miles, that if you were going to open just two retail liquor stores in that county, then the stores should be within five miles of each other and 20 miles from the center of the county, which is also the county seat?

Obviously, people closer to the seat of government need alcohol more than others, so that mustn’t be the reason. As a business, we understand the possibility that maybe there is something unique about those two stores that would justify having them in each other’s backyard. Maybe the stores are larger than all the others in Butler County by square feet.

But since the stores are only doing drive-by service, for which you must call ahead with your order, that could hardly make a difference. Maybe the Cranberry Township and Seven Fields stores out-produce the other locations. That would make sense, but if the state expects people from Butler to drive 20 miles or people from Chicora to drive 30 miles to get their drink of choice, surely they would also expect that Cranberry residents would drive to Seven Fields or Seven Fields residents would drive to Cranberry more often. Maybe in-stock selection would be a factor? They have had how many weeks to move stock around if that is the case?

We will rule out the idea that has been thrown around that it has anything to do with voters and courting certain voters because Harrisburg has made it very clear they couldn’t care less about voters. Besides, voter turnout in those areas is surprisingly low. Most of those residents are still trying to get over the shock of relocating outside Allegheny County just to save on tax dollars. They haven’t woken up to the realization that with the population growth down in that portion of the county, they could gain control of the county government if they banded together.

So why are both our wine and liquor stores in a three-mile stretch? Most likely the person making the decision has never been west or north of Pittsburgh and maybe not east of Harrisburg. It is said that ignorance of the law is no excuse, but maybe ignorance of state geography is.

This won’t be the worst decision the state makes concerning reopening Pennsylvania and it is easily rectified. Let’s hope they consult someone from our neck of Yinzer-land the next time. In the meantime, bottoms-up.