Lately, a recurring theme has been running through my life and it revolves around weddings or getting engaged. Three very good friends of mine recently have either gotten married or announced their intention to get married in the very near future.

This is great news, of course. A wedding is always something to celebrate or look forward to.

However, all three of these guys seem to be going into marriage with blinders on, so I felt it was my obligation as an expert (after all, I am married) to let them know what to look forward to during the months ahead.

Shopping will most certainly replace football on Sundays, at least during the autumn season and until snow begins to fall.

This is not the "normal" kind of shopping, like at a department or grocery store. No, sir. This is shopping at places far from home like Volant or the Prime Outlets — and you will be shopping for things like Lazy Susans (not your lazy cousin Susan) or other "knick-knacks."

These knickknacks are going to replace the beer mug on your book case. You know the mug. It's the one next to your bowling trophy or fantasy football plaque. Those, by the way, will be moved downstairs into the basement.

Let's discuss the economics of marriage. After all, since I teach business at the college part time and am still married (at least prior to my wife reading this column), I am considered an expert.

One would think that two working individuals coming together and living under one roof would create economies of scale. (That's a fancy word for "bargaining power").

Additionally, it seems logical that the savings would increase faster than the spending, since we only need one roof, one energy bill, one water bill, etc.

However, the economics of marriage defies all logic, as a married couple actually has less savings and more bills than when each individual was a single person. Think of it like Dick's Sporting Goods merging with Victoria's Secret. Some would argue it's more like Evian Water and BP Oil, but I'm not that jaded.

Regardless, the two companies continue spending on whatever they feel is important (golf clubs, Steelers shirts, nighties, perfumes, etc.).

At the same time, each company is compelled to make the other company feel loved and needed, so they spend additional funds on each other, buying additional "stuff" that the other would like. Do you really think I need another pedometer to keep track of the miles I'm not walking each day?

As a result of this extra stuff, the "we need one bigger roof" syndrome will kick in during the second year of the merger. This will result in something economists call "a huge mortgage," which will replace the one tiny rental payment.

This house will be too big for two people, even with all the extra stuff, so the merger will result in several spin-off companies called "children." Any remaining funds in the savings account will be depleted, nearly driving the company into bankruptcy.

But don't fret, my newly married friends. At the end of the day, you will be left with your best friend after your children decide to get married themselves.

With any luck, you can clean up during a Saturday and give your spouse some money to go shopping on Sunday while you watch the game.

This is what married life is about.