There aren't too many things that get me excited. And with the exceptions of Pittsburgh Penguins hockey games and getting pepperoni on my pizza for free, the only thing that really gets me riled up is Brett Favre of the Green Bay Packers. The guy is my hero.

That's why in this town dominated by Big Ben and company, finding information on any other professional athlete is tough — especially on old No. 4 of the Packers.

Such a find occurred several weeks ago during a visit to my children's pediatrician's office, and I need to apologize in advance to Dr. Jim and crew.

I stopped by to pick up some forms for my son's school and had to wait while they searched his records. As soon as my rear hit the seat, a copy of Guideposts with Brett Favre and his wife on the cover jumped out at me and was more noticeable than the kid with chicken pox in the next room.

Could it actually be him? It was.

Within 2 seconds, I found myself leafing through the pages, eager to find the article that touched on the personal side of my own hero.

Us 35 years and older guys have to stick together, you know. Within moments, I was knee-deep in the article.

"Mr. Ola? We have your records."

Curses, I thought to myself, wondering how long I could prolong the wait so that I could finish the article.

"Mr. Ola?"

It was that overachieving do-gooder receptionist, bugging me to get out of the office. She probably thought she was being helpful by providing superior customer service.

"Yes, that's me," I stammered, quickly closing the magazine and gulping. What I did next is embarrassing.

While pretending to listen to what the receptionist was telling me, I placed the magazine in my back pocket.

I've never stolen anything, and many times I will go back to a store if I've underpaid or they've given me too much. But I simply couldn't let the article of my hero out of my hands.

I got into my car quickly, hoping that the magazine police weren't on to me yet or that Dr. Jim's office wasn't equipped with dye packs in each magazine. I then sped out of the parking lot, eager to get home so that I could finish the article.

"You did what?" asked my wife, who understands my passion for Brett.

"How could you? It's stealing. And besides, you didn't get the right thing from the office."

"So bill my HMO," I responded, regretting the words immediately. But I had an idea.

"You can return the magazine for me when you go back to pick up the right forms." Brilliant! Allow an accomplice to cover my guilt-laden tracks. Every good thief has a fall guy, or gal. She would be mine.

"I will, only because it's wrong. Do you understand me?"

Nodding in agreement, I had to laugh knowing that her new No. 4 jersey had been ordered only two days beforehand. Dr. Jim would SEE that she was the thief, not me.

I learned how to be crafty by watching Brett avoid sacks and make remarkable comebacks, but I doubt if even he could pull something as smooth as this off!

Christian Ola, a community columnist for the Butler Eagle, resides in Mars with his wife, son and daughter and can be reached at christianolac@aol.com.