It's time for the first "I don't want to hear about this again in 2007" awards.

To qualify for this prestigious award, applicants must be overexposed and basically get under my skin, or news journalists need to beat the story like a rented mule. And with respect to talk show host David Letterman, there will be 10 recipients that will appear in no particular order.

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No. 10 — Big Ben Roethlisberger and his motorcycle (near-death) experience. It wasn't enough for the guy to go to Disney World like the rest of his compadres who won Super Bowls before him. No. Our guy had to ride a crotch rocket through the tubes. Ben! Get a Ford Taurus, put both hands on the wheel and drive 55 mph. Oh, and SHUT UP in 2007!•

No. 9 — Pittsburgh claiming to have the youngest mayor since Opie Griffith ran Mayberry. If "Cool Hand Luke" Ravenstahl weren't fit for the job, he wouldn't be where he is, even if he were older than the 31st Street Bridge. Besides, Hillsdale, Mich., can claim it has the youngest current mayor with 18-year-old Michael Sessions leading them into 2007. I wonder if everyone gets a half day off for the prom?•

No. 8 — Kevin Federline. Britney's soon-to-be ex doesn't understand the "15 minutes of fame" gig, as he relentlessly tries to hold onto his minor celebrity status by continuing to do what got him there — nothing. Be careful, folks. Other celebrities who do nothing include Paris Hilton, Chuck Woolery and the Olsen twins (they were relevant in 1988.) All of the above, including K-Fed, are likely to end up on "Dancing with the Stars."•

No. 7 — Reality TV. Give me good, old-fashioned sitcoms that include phrases like "Whatchyou talkin' bout Willis" and "Kiss my grits," please. Sadly, many of our reality TV stars end up becoming more useless celebrities, littered along the walk of fame and left to push products on late-night television.•

No. 6 — Big Ben and his appendectomy. Our only personality to make it onto the list twice, Big Ben is becoming a BIG HYPOCHONDRIAC! Win some games, Big Ben. My mom had her appendix taken out and she was out shoveling snow three days later, ya big baby.•

No. 5 — Slot machines and their ability to save the human race. At the risk of filling my e-mail box with arguments on either side of this debate, let me just say that I'm glad the whole location argument has ended. It took longer than it took Big Ben to get better from an overgrown toenail. You know what will save the local economy? Spend less money and create more jobs.•

No. 4 — Bill Cowher and his retirement plans. Let the man relax for a minute or two. Imagine the stress involved with starting a QB that needs media attention more than my 3-year-old needs cuddling? In fact, Bill, if you're moving to N.C. and need a spokesperson, I'm your guy.•

No. 3 — The shift of power in Washington, from Republicans to Democrats. Newsflash everyone! Both sides are perfectly capable of NOT accomplishing anything worthwhile, so now it's the Democrats turn to create gridlock rivaled only by Homer Simpson's arteries when he eats one more doughnut.•

No. 2 — Political correctness. It must mean I'm getting old, but I stopped trying to be sensitive. I say "Merry Christmas" and "Happy New Year" instead of any other type of holiday greeting. Who cares?•

No. 1 — Top 10 lists at the end of the year. They lack creativity.Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, everyone! I hope 2007 brings many positive changes in your life and in the lives of those around you.