Because Hollywood has never understood that fairy tales don't have sequels - that there's no "Sleeping Beauty: Awake and Loving It" - our daughters now find themselves faced with "The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement." Anne Hathaway and Julie Andrews again star and Garry Marshall returns as director; the only things missing are a script, a pulse, and a reason why. Kids and 'tweeners will enjoy it, but more out of loyalty to the original than because of the movie's feebly amusing merits. At the preview I attended, there was as much fidgeting as you'd expect at a 120-minute G-rated movie. Most of it came from the parents.

The first "Diaries" was a surprise in 2001: a pleasantly formulaic royal-ugly-duckling story with enough charm to last 50 or more DVD replays before mom or dad accidentally "lost" the disc. Hathaway's debut was the kiddie-movie equivalent of Audrey Hepburn's in "Roman Holiday," and it was so nice to see Andrews back on the big screen you didn't mind that she wasn't able to sing.

Andrews does sing in "Princess Diaries 2," and hearing that voice once more, worn as it is by age and operations, may be unexpectedly moving for those weaned on "Mary Poppins" and "The Sound of Music." But don't worry, kids: The movie gives Andrews less than a minute of solo time before she's joined by Raven (of TV's "That's So Raven") and a breakdancing teenage girl.

The dancer might as well be Rudolf Nureyev, so unfocused is Shonda Rhimes's screenplay and so flabby is Marshall's direction. "The Princess Diaries 2" opens with all-American princess Mia (Hathaway) graduating from the Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs and heading to the fictional kingdom of Genovia for a transition to the throne. Not so fast: First we have to be reintroduced to the old gang - grandma/Queen Andrews, best chum Lilly ( Heather Matarazzo), security chief Joseph (Hector Elizondo). We also have to meet the new Genovians: sneering Viscount Mabrey (John Rhys-Davies), his sigh-guy nephew Nicholas (Chris Pine), Mia's comic maids Brigitte (Shea Curry) and Brigitta (Anna White), and many, many more. The body count occasionally turns random: At one point someone says, "And now, for our friends from Asia: Jonny Blu!" and brings on a young singer of elusive talent.

Only after Mia climbs a hidden staircase creakier than the dialogue and spies on a parliamentary meeting does she learn of a Genovian law stipulating she must be married to rule. Worse, if she fails to wed in 30 days, Nicholas will ascend the throne in her place. After a Powerpoint presentation of all the available European royals, Mia settles on a friendly, dispassionate engagement to Andrew (Callum Blue), Duke of Kenilworth. All well and good, but her heart does the Hustle whenever Nicholas is in the room.

That the bad guy turns out to be a decent chap is the one tame surprise of "Princess Diaries 2," which wanders to its denouement like a drunken bee, stopping at each flower in the garden. There's a subplot about Mia learning to fire a flaming arrow, good for the sight gags you've seen in the trailer. We spend a bit of time in the princess's bedroom suite, of which she breathlessly exclaims, "I have my own mall."

All the decor here, in fact, is a busy concatenation of ormolu and Pottery Barn bric-a-brac - it's a 12-year-old girl's idea of high European taste. That may be the best approach, but it still doesn't excuse a royal parade that looks like lunchtime at Disneyland.

The good news is that "Princess Diaries 2" does eventually come down on the side of marrying for love rather than government, and it allows Mia a speech of gently defiant independence toward the end. Hathaway hangs on to her graciousness and hopefully will move on to roles that require her to act. But the movie may go a little too far when it suggests that Julie Andrews could ever find romantic bliss with Hector Elizondo. There are fairy tales - and then there's Bizarro World.