DAYTON, Ohio - When it comes to Valentine's Day gift-giving, it's less about the gift and more about the giving. At least as far as women are concerned.

That's the feedback we got from female readers asked to share their heart's desires.

"The candy's good, the flowers are good, the dinner and dancing stuff is fine," said Beverly Moreland. "But one-on-one attentive listening is the real turn-on."

Moreland, who is in her 50s, says many other women she knows feel the same. "A man that can really listen to what a woman is saying and can give her his undivided attention, and make eye contact, wow!"

Others echoed those thoughts, requesting the simple gift of time spent together.

"My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year, but he's away at college so I don't get to see him a lot," says Camara Herron, 17. "I don't really care about a gift, I'd just like to go somewhere with him, a favorite place, maybe out to dinner."

Though wives may live in the same house as their spouses, many can still sympathize.

"We're so busy, we both work full time, we have to take care of the kids and when I try to take time for myself, I feel guilty or feel like I shouldn't spend money," says Karen Hurley of Centerville, who'd love to spend Valentine's Day alone with her hubby. Hurley's favorite Valentine's Day gift through the years? His simple question: "Will You Marry Me?"

Help and support ranked high among holiday requests as well.

"Flowers and candy are kind of cliche anymore," says Cheryl Rickman. "I'd really like somebody just to come in, take care of the kids, clean the house, tell me he loves me."

Rickman, who's been married 20 years, says she'd never trade her spouse.

"Valentine's Day is about love and caring for the people in your family, so we traditionally do a family thing for the holiday," she explains. In the past, they've all gone to a hotel for the weekend to let the kids swim, or gone camping."

But this year, with her husband facing health issues, Rickman says just being alone together would mean the most.

"If we can afford it, he'll do it," she says. "He tries to please me."

Some women admit candidly that, while they also would like the gift of time, they want it for themselves.

"I'd have to say that what I'd appreciate most from my family would be a day away from them," says Karen Hurley, who envisions a day at the spa complete with massage, manicure, pedicure, facial.

"I'd even settle for a day that I don't have to cook at all or worry about it being cleaned up properly," she adds.

Other women, of course, do want a more traditional gift. "I'd like a beautiful pink heart with an angel and pink lace on it ... full of candy," said Martha Van Oss.

Betty Smith of New Carlisle has wanted a Bose radio for years. "It's a wave radio and it picks up more stations," explains Smith. "And there's music on the radio, so that would be romantic."

Lorana Kelly says her darling husband never forgets to bring her a large box of chocolates. But this year, the couple has been forced to share a car. "What I would really like to receive on Feb. 14 is a red ribbon wrapped around a car!" Kelly says.

Celeste Vlasic of Medway has asked for a small box of chocolates.

"Of course I would love a diamond necklace, or flowers," she says, "but my husband has given me the greatest gift of all by insisting that I be a stay-at-home mom for our 8-year-old daughter. And though it has put a financial strain on the family, I've received no greater gift."

Vlasic says her husband always gets her a nice card.

Turns out a card ranks high on most women's wish lists. According to a Shopping in America 2005 Valentine's Day survey conducted for the Macerich Company, greeting cards top the wish list for both men and women. In order of preference, women also wanted flowers, jewelry and candy.

One of those who isn't surprised is Susan Polis Schultz, who makes a living expressing emotions for the rest of us ... Schultz and her husband are the creators of Blue Mountain Arts greeting cards and sell more than 40 million cards each year. She's best known for intimate and heart-felt love poems.

"My favorite fantasy?" reads the cover of one of her current cards. "A little more time for you and me."

"The gift is the least important thing, it's the thought and commitment behind the gift that's important," Schultz says. "If he gives her a dozen roses, that's very nice, but he should also write something down --something he loves about her, how she looks, how she is. The gift doesn't have to be expensive, it can be a single rose picked from the garden.

"What women want all the time is to be reassured that they're loved, that they are respected, that there is honesty in their relationship," Schultz believes. "They like to share experiences and feelings, to have fun."

It's important to know what constitutes fun for the other person in your life.

"I love walking on the beach or hiking in the mountains or listening to music," she says. "Some people like to eat out or go to a movie. Think of something you've been wanting to do together, but just haven't had time."

For Stephanie Leiter, who lives in northern Cincinnati and will marry in April, it's a surprise that's most fun.

Sharon Kelly Roth of Kettering agrees. "It's being treated special that day," she says. "Maybe it's breakfast in bed, I love picnics so maybe it's an indoor picnic with a quilt on the floor and a fire in the fireplace. I think women want to feel cherished."

Some women, like Jaclyn Maxwell of Kettering, are looking for both an emotional and more substantial Valentine's Day offerings. "I want something so simple, but so important," she writes. "I want my boyfriend to listen to me.

"That, and I'd like a pair of the rainbow striped Vuitton pumps in a size seven and a half."