It’s Super Bowl week(s) and that means a litany of useless information about the big game drilled into our heads and stuffed down our throats.

By now, we all know the major story lines of the Bro Bowl or the Harbowl or the Super Baugh or whatever witty name you’d like to refer to the battle of the brothers Harbaugh (Jim in San Francisco and John in Baltimore).

Here are some of the story lines I’m following, though:

“Wah!” Lewis.

As we all know, the Super Bowl will be the last game for Ray Lewis to cry before and after.

Seriously, the dude hasn’t cried this much since ... well, five minutes ago. After his retirement, I’m sure he will have a long career as a Soap Opera diva.

He did have a legendary career and as much as I loath the Baltimore Ravens, I do give Lewis some props. He needs to put the breaks on the water works, though.

An interesting factoid: Lewis’ first career sack was on Jim Harbaugh.

Last hurrah for Randy Moss.

Lost in the brother battle and Lewis’ cascade of tears, which threatens to flood New Orleans like another Katrina, is the fact Randy Moss is back in the Super Bowl, this time with the 49ers.

It’s hard to imagine, but Moss has been most decidedly under the radar this season.

Colin Kaepernick’s tats.

It’s just a matter of time before every single one of them gets examined and explained — that may take two weeks right there.

An interesting factoid: The Mayan calendar didn’t end Dec. 21, 2012. The next Baktun is tattooed on Kaepernick’s arms.

Who’s going to kick for the 49ers?

Right now, there is no plan to replace David Akers, but he’s been shaky at best.

My suggestion? Call up Scott Norwood. Vindication, 22 years in the making.

Who’s going to do something stupid in the days leading up to the Super Bowl?

This game has a history of bringing out the boneheads.

Think New England wideout Irving Fryar getting stabbed in the hand by his wife before playing the Bears.

Think Barrett Robbins going AWOL the night before the Super Bowl for the Raiders.

Think Falcons’ DB Eugene Robinson getting caught soliciting prostitutes just hours after receiving the Bart Starr Award for high moral fiber.

You get the idea.

Who will it be this week? My money is on 49ers backup Alex Smith. I’m sure he is about to boil over with rage after getting benched for that Kaepernick character. I’m sure he’s just a hair away from doing something dumb like sending the Ravens the 49ers playbook in an act of revenge or getting caught having dinner with Roger Goodell in a New Orleans restaurant.

An interesting factoid: Some Big Easy restaurants are banning Goodell from eating there because of Bounty Gate.

Call this Hunger Gate.

Mike Kilroy is a staff writer for the Butler Eagle.