Trip answers many questions
SLIPPERY ROCK — Jessie and Kim McMenamin felt a bit like they were traveling through time instead of over distance recently when they visited South Korea.
And though Jessie's adopted daughter, Kim, wasn't able to meet her birth mother while there, she gained some insight about her.
Kim, 26, was adopted by Jessie and Jim McMenamin of Slippery Rock when she was 5. The mid-July trip to South Korea was Kim's first since she left as a child.
The trip was hosted by San Francisco-based Korean Homeland Tours, but while in Korea, the McMenamins joined with other adoptive families at a reunion planned by the Social Welfare Society in Seoul.
Since she was abandoned at a police station when she was just 10 days old, Kim had no information about her birth mother. She and Jessie suspect it was an unwed mother trying to avoid the social stigma associated with having a child.
During the trip, the pair visited an unwed mothers home, a gathering place for mothers who have given babies up for adoption. It was the only place where Kim, who usually shows little emotion, really cried, Jessie said.
"It was like walking back into the 1950s here," Jessie said. "If you keep the baby (there), the child is an outcast for the rest of his life."
Several women in their 40s spoke to the group of adoptees, some of whom had reunions with their biological mothers. As she listened to the women's stories, Kim's feelings about her own biological mother began to change.
"This was definitely a life-changing experience to go back where I came from," she said. "I understand now why mothers had to give away their babies. It was definitely tough for them.
"I don't feel so negative now about why I was given away," she said.
Kim, who is a teacher, enjoyed visiting the city where she was born, Daegu. She and her mother were able to talk to a nun at the orphanage where Kim stayed until she was 3 months old. That nun told Jessie she had a picture of Kim when she was an infant.
"That's big, because we have no pictures of her before age 5," said Jessie.
Kim stayed in orphanages for a relatively long time because she had health problems that included tuberculosis and scoliosis. Kim had to wear a back brace until she was a teenager. The brace never stopped her from any activities, according to Jessie, including gymnastics, swimming and volleyball.
The pair also visited a few other orphanages and both were impressed with how many children are still awaiting adoption. Nurses or nuns care for them with 15 to 20 cribs crammed into a room for the babies."Mom was more emotional than me," when visiting the orphanages, said Kim.Meeting the other adoptees on the trip, who ranged from 17 to 34 years old, was another highlight for Kim. No one in the group had been back to South Korea since they had been adopted, which meant shortly after birth for most of them. Jessie found out about the trip on the Internet earlier this year."In Slippery Rock, there were other adoptees in my school, but they were a lot younger then me," said Kim.The trip also included visits to the Demilitarized Zone between North Korea and South Korea as well as to Mount Seorak, Busan and Gyeongju. Jessie said she was impressed with the countryside and how similar the vegetation is to that in Slippery Rock. There were day lilies and black-eyed Susans, for example, she said."Korea was very mountainous and beautiful," she said." But the beauty wasn't limited to the natural landscape, Jessie said. The group ordered pizza one night and the pizza boxes all had fancy red ribbons tied around them, she said."Koreans are all about presentation," she said.Both Jessie and Kim said the trip answered a lot of questions."I've always wanted to go back to learn about Korean history and culture," said Kim, who said she began wondering about such things at age 8. She hopes to travel back someday to learn more.Jessie said she was so happy for Kim to have that opportunity."To see a place where everyone looks like her and everyone isn't Caucasian like in Slippery Rock," was worth it, Jessie noted.She remembers Kim at age 5, so quiet and reserved."When we got her, they wrote in our initial paperwork, 'Not sure about mental capacity,' because she wouldn't speak with the social worker," Jessie said. After spending so much time in orphanages, Jessie understood even then why she was once so reserved.Kim went on to become an honor student in high school and college and now works as an art teacher for a cyber school."We are so lucky because we adopted her," Jessie said.
