HarBowl, Super Baugh, Bro Bowl … whatever. Pittsburgh fans should be calling it their worst nightmare.

For genuine supporters of the black and gold, the biggest sporting event of the year couldn’t have produced a less pleasing matchup. Either the San Francisco 49ers tie the Steelers for all-time Super Bowl wins or the arch-rival Baltimore Ravens return to glory.

No matter who wins, Pittsburgh loses.

So, to spare your feelings, enough about that. Let’s talk some puck.

The lockout lingered, but the NHL finally went back to work on Saturday and the Penguins made their long-awaited debut in impressive fashion with back-to-back wins over the Flyers and Rangers.

I was intrigued to see how fans would react to the return of hockey.

To little surprise, the opening weekend was embraced with open arms — and then some.

The league wisely paired rivals to begin the schedule, which only heightened the anticipation and resulted in the biggest national ratings for an NHL non-Winter Classic regular-season game since 2002.

I met up with a college buddy at Primanti Bros. in Grove City to celebrate the return of hockey and we weren’t alone. The restaurant was crowded and fans hovered around the bar as faceoff approached.

However, the start of the Penguins-Flyers clash was delayed so NBC could broadcast the banner-raising celebration for the reigning Stanley Cup champion Los Angeles Kings.

At first, only mere grumbles circulated as each player was introduced and then reintroduced as the Kings passed around the most spectacular trophy in sports.

Once Los Angeles and Chicago faced off to begin the season, those grumbles quickly escalated to groans.

Fans draped in Pens gear dove headfirst into their phones, checking to see if the game had started. The bartender — bless her heart — frantically searched through the TV guide to see if it was on another channel.

For each passing minute, the anxiety level continued to rise. More patrons began barking at the bartender to find the game. The tension soon carried over to panicked posts on Twitter and Facebook.

Just a little more torture for NHL fans to endure, but all’s well that ends well.

The Pens-Flyers game eventually hit the TV, the restaurant cheered and Pittsburgh went on to post a satisfying 3-1 victory in the wake of last year’s playoff flop.

Despite a lockout’s worth of abuse, there was no way hockey fans were going to shun the Penguins. That much was proven by the thousands who flooded Consol Energy Center for an inconsequential scrimmage.

As fans, we can’t help it. By definition, we’re fanatical. We crave sports.

It’s the same reason Pittsburgh will tune into the Super Bowl even though the result promises to disappoint.

The NFL, NBA and NHL have all gone through lockouts within the past two years. We keep flocking back like starving seagulls.

The fortune-generating, penny-squabbling business of sports deserves to be taught a lesson. Too bad we’re not willing to teach it.