If you're not a superfan, 'Hellboy' is hell, boy
Hellboy is back and he's got a dirty mouth and a man bun.
The third film in the comic adaptation franchise has a new director, a new writer and a new look — led by a swashbuckling hellion who uses expletives and wears one of the most ridiculed hair styles in decades.
“Hellboy “ is a reboot of artist and writer Mike Mignola's fantasy world that rather rudely brushes aside the first two films as if they never existed.
Out is director Guillermo del Toro, a monster maker of epic proportions. Out is the original Hellboy, Ron Perlman. Out is the PG-13 rating. Now we've got an edgier, R-rated brightly red hero in a film that can best be described as tedious.
This “Hellboy” stars the always likable David Harbour of “Stranger Things” in a film even his charm can't save. It's really a series of violent vignettes strung together, getting more and more outlandish and introducing characters at such a blistering pace that you just want it to stop already.
Andrew Cosby's screenplay doesn't unspool a coherent story so much as violently shoehorn in diverse elements from the comics, overstuffing every scene and only then trying to explain why it's been included. Director Neil Marshall leaves anyone not familiar with this world grasping and gasping. A fight sequence with three giants is really the only astonishingly realized bit in the whole film.
What you need to know is that Hellboy is a devil who ends up working for the good guys, the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense.
Hellboy is basically a monster who hunts monsters, rejecting his DNA by cutting off his horns and stalking around in a ratty raincoat with no shirt. He deals with sorcery and ancient curses, utters strip club jokes, hears standard comic book lines — “Revenge is the only sustenance I require” — and has a hand in gore, beheadings, eyes gouged out and deep ugliness.
The movie starts in A.D. 517, then goes to modern-day Mexico, Colorado, London, the English countryside and Siberia. The soundtrack is a bro-fest that includes entries by Motley Crue and Alice Cooper.
We meet the ancient Russian witch Baba Yaga, the evil, Liverpool-accented porcine monster Gruagach (Stephen Graham), Hellboy's adoptive father (Ian McShane), the Queen of Blood (Milla Jovovich), the wizard Merlin and King Arthur (no, seriously), a young cool woman with powers named Alice (Sasha Lane), a cool older sorceress (Sophie Okonedo) and a fellow agent-monster played by Daniel Dae Kim with a pretty terrible British accent.
Harbour himself is fine, channeling the blue-collar, resigned here-we-go-again ethos of Hellboy. But his lines seem to fall flat. “Let's eat some barbecue!” he declares as he attacks the pig monster. It's sort of funny but somehow in this muddle of a film, it doesn't land.
It's a pity because underneath all the silliness, there's a rich vein the film seems to try to mine — whether what you are born determines who you become.
