Bill Halle

No one ever said fatherhood was easy.

Some fathers, because of a lack of a good male role model, a broken family, or other marital issues, turn to Bill Halle, founder of the Grace Youth and Family Foundation.

He meets with fathers hoping to improve their relationships with their children and are usually referred through the Butler County Youth and Family Services.

Fathers often have contradicting messages about how to raise their children, Halle said, whether to be on the stoic or compassionate side.

Not only that, but working with families that don’t have the biological parents together puts a strain on their relationship with children.

“That’s the biggest thing that’s impacted fathers: The breakdown of the family and the lack of an identified healthy father role. It used to be father knows best. They wanted to be like that, the father on ‘Leave it to Beaver,’” Halle said.

He said fathers now are portrayed more like Homer Simpson than Ward Cleaver: bumbling rather than rock-steady.

Because the issue is often complicated, Halle tries to take a holistic approach to assist in the situation.

“We’ll start breaking down so they have a foundation with their own personality profile. What that means is, what are the behavioral characteristics of their personality profile when they’re healthy? ... When they’re average? And then, when they’re unhealthy?” he said.

“The other thing we’re dealing with, aside from dealing with their own identity, is just changing family dynamics. Very seldom am I working with an intact, biological father married to the biological mother of their children. Most of the time, it’s a mixed family. There’s outside influences that are playing a huge role in how they perform their fatherhood role.”

He works with about 15 fathers, meeting with them periodically, sometimes with other family members.

One of the fathers, for instance, is trying to steer his son, a senior in high school, onto a better path. He recently caught his son smoking marijuana.

Meanwhile, another father, with children ages 11 and 13, has a tumultuous relationship with his ex. In addition to dealing with custody issues, he has a strained relationship with his children because of the jarring custody dynamic.

Halle said some families have never had the benefit of living in a home with a biological mom and dad present, which continues the issue.

“We have multiple generations now who have never seen an intact family. Their dad didn’t come from an intact family and mom didn’t come from an intact family, and now they’re trying to raise a family the same way,” he said.

To try to alleviate that, he sometimes tries to pair clients with male fathers who can act as a positive role model, and provide advice to those who are struggling.

But in the end, Halle said dads come to him because they want to improve, despite some rough situations. The “deadbeat dad” stereotype is sometimes a misnomer.