Families offer shelter to youth
Lauri Siwick believes in helping her neighbors, whether or not she has ever met them.
Far beyond a borrowed cup of sugar, Lauri and her family are lending a hand and a home to Butler County children whose parents are unable to care for them.
The Siwicks' Slippery Rock Township home is among about 60 foster homes in Butler County that Children and Youth Services counts on when a safe haven is needed.
After seven years, more than 100 children have passed through the Siwick home, a number not uncommon, said Robin Johnston of CYS.
The foster parent coordinator for the agency, she said like the children they serve, no two foster homes are alike.Johnston has worked with the department for 12 years, beginning her job as a caseworker and now heading up several projects while continuing to train and oversee foster parents.Johnston said foster parents do not have to be married, have a high income level or be parents themselves."You don't even have to own your own home," she said.She noted that very few of the foster mothers in the Butler County system are stay-at-home moms.Johnston said Butler County is one of few that still maintains its own roster of foster homes instead of contracting a foster agency, which may have stricter requirements for participation.The daylong training for parents includes a presentation by a therapist, a discussion of laws relating to foster care and an overview of first aid.Once complete, potential care providers can decide to proceed with an interview and home inspection or opt out of the process.For the Siwick family, the choice to become a foster family came after Wayne, the family's patriarch, suffered a brain aneurysm.An Air Force officer, Wayne was forced to retire when the condition resulted in the loss of his short-term memory.The Butler County natives then returned to the area from their Tampa, Fla., home.
Close to the time of their return, Lauri, a stay-at-home mother, began to come to terms with the fact that her two daughters were growing up and required less mothering.The retired couple decided to open their rented home to a foster child, an experience that inspired their future.The opportunity seemed a perfect fit for Lauri, who holds degrees in elementary and special education.Like the Siwicks, the Dittmers of Middlesex Township discovered foster parenting upon retirement.The former owners of a cleaning business, Dorothy and Butch Dittmer felt the call of foster parenting soon after leaving the workplace."Everywhere we went they were talking about foster parenting," recalled Dorothy.Becoming bored with the slow pace of retired life, the couple decided to check into foster parenting, surprised they were not too old to begin the job.
After four years, the couple has hosted about 40 children, ranging in age from newborns to 11 year olds.Their home has allowed for them to accommodate up to three children at a time.Dorothy's daughter, who lives nearby, also serves as a foster parent, which allows CYS the opportunity to place large groups of siblings close together, when it is not possible to place them all in the same home.<B>A welcome home</B>Children can be taken into the care of CYSat any time of the day or night, so some foster parents prepare themselves with extra clothing and toiletries to receive children who often arrive tired, upset and without clean clothes.Johnston said that in the past, foster parents would have to take these children shopping right away to purchase clothes for the first night.Now, however, CYS offers The Foster Shop, a downtown location where foster parents can browse through donated new and used clothes, underwear and toiletries.When a new child arrives in the Dittmer home, both Butch and Dorothy try to provide a warm, caring place for them to relax."We had a couple that just got in bed and snuggled up," said Dorothy.Dorothy noted that having a grandson who stays with them helps some children to open up and talk.
The presence of grandchildren has led most of their foster children to refer to the Dittmers as grandparents.Having their children in the home has also helped foster children in the Siwick home feel at ease."It helps them to see I have my own children,"said Lauri, who treats foster children the same as her own.Though she said every child is different, one way Lauri welcomes each new intake is by offering a popsicle."Apopsicle has never been turned down," said Lauri, who noted that incoming children are often hungry and thirsty, making a popsicle a welcome snack.Aside from offering food, the Siwick family tries to create a quiet, comforting environment, allowing children or teens to explore or simply keep to themselves."Kids are smart," Lauri said. "They know how to case the place."At times, waiting for a child to trust them can take days.Often, children will stock up on snacks and hide them in their room, worried that the food supplies may run out, she said.Despite the obvious comforts, Lauri says many of the children still want to go home at first."I have learned that home is home to them. No matter how beautiful your home is, that is where they want to be. Everybody does better when you respect that."
With some children staying a year or more, the Siwicks encourage their foster children, many of whom have been in elementary school, to personalize their space — choosing toys from the family's collection, trying a new paint color or adding personal artwork to their door."We let them bring themselves into this house," said Siwick.In cases where the Siwicks host teens, cooking skills and other independent living tips are incorporated into everyday interaction.In one case, Lauri said, she had the opportunity to help a teen with a child learn parenting skills.Foster children are also encouraged to make themselves comfortable around the Siwick home, which the couple designed to accommodate children with any special needs.Doorways were built wide enough to accommodate wheelchairs, and bathrooms were enhanced with a walk-in shower and a lower, child-accessible toilet.The home's great room also allowed Lauri open views of activities in the home's living, dining and kitchen areas as well as the wooded outdoor area.A fire pit outside is the site for storytelling, the only place children can tell a lie, what the Siwicks call "whoppers.""You can afford to be idealistic here,"said Siwick.The rural location also serves as an ideal location for foster children that are at risk of running away or simply spending time with negative influences.
Whether a foster child returns to his or her own parents or becomes adoptable, CYSseeks to find a permanent place for a child within a year.Despite the excitement of seeing a child find a permanent home, 18-year-old Amy Siwick said the transition can be hard."There's been two or three that you just loved,"she said.Johnston said if a child becomes eligible for adoption, foster parents are given the option before any other parents are found.The Siwicks, however, have no plan to adopt, knowing they can help more children by serving as a temporary home.For the Dittmers, being a part of a recent adoption brought them joy.When a boy they had housed for a year became adoptable, the adoptive parents became involved with the Dittmers, making frequent visits and taking the children for the day or an overnight, making the transition gradual."It's such a great feeling to see these people are here who'd just love to adopt,"said Dorothy.Since the adoption, the Dittmers have remained close, making visits to the new family and attending soccer games.Though they have remained in contact with several children, Butch said they rarely hear from children who return to their parents."Then you really have to worry how they're doing," said Butch.Lauri also said she has been worried when children return to their parents, but reminds herself the goal of CYSis to preserve families."We have to remind ourselves not to judge the parents."Despite the many adjustments, made with each child's arrival and departure, the Siwicks have no plans to stop foster care.Beginning in January, Wayne and Lauri will seek clearance to house more than their current limit.Johnston said the current limit of children per house is six, which can include any combination of the home's natural and foster children. To house more than six, a family must seek additional clearance.For Lauri, opening her home to children is simply a way of helping others."I don't know of any neighbor who hasn't needed a hand."
To become a foster parent, applicants age 21 and older must pass a background check, complete a daylong orientation session and go through a home safety inspection and interview.Foster families are permitted to house up to six children, including their biological children, at a time. Those wishing to take in more children must seek additional clearances.Families receive a stipend for the care of each child, but are responsible for costs that exceed the stipend, including any necessary day care program or baby-sitting costs.Programs such as the Foster Shop provide some necessities such as clothing for immediate needs. Programs are also in place to provide some Christmas gifts and back-to-school items.To help foster children and other children served by the agency interact, parties and outings are also planned regularly. Most recently, a Christmas party featuring a visit from Butler native and Boston Red Soxs' pitcher Matt Clement and his wife Heather was held. The event was attended by about 80 children, who each received a gift and autograph.The families must provide transportation for the child to and from visits with biolgical parents or other appointments.For information about becoming a foster parent, contact Johnston at 724-284-5156.
