Weddings follow tradition, for most part
Ministers in the county have officiated thousands of weddings in many different locales. For the most, part brides and bridegrooms have stuck with tradition, although along the way some ministers have had to deal with fire, darkness and renegade ring bearers.
The Rev. Bob Cedolia became pastor at Holy Sepulcher Roman Catholic Church in Middlesex Township six months ago after spending 10 years at St. Anne Parish in Castle Shannon.
He says he's lost count of the number of weddings he's performed.
“Oh boy, I couldn't tell you,” he said. “I have been ordained for 36 years, and I haven't kept track of them. Probably hundreds and hundreds.”
Cedolia said in all those hundreds of weddings, there haven't been any strange or unusual requests.
“Most Catholic marriages have a certain ritual to the rite of marriage,” said Cedolia. “Most couples follow that.”
“They want the traditional music, the traditional Mass, maybe the candle ceremony,” he said. “Most of them are very traditional in what they want.”
That may be, Cedolia theorized, because the brides and bridegrooms these days tend to be a little bit older.
“Most couples married in the church are older. In my experience they are in their late 20s, early 30s, and they know exactly what they want.”
“They have thought about it, prayed about it and discussed this. They come to marriage with a more mature attitude,” he said.
But, Cedolia added, some traditions have been discarded over the years.
“They used to throw rice or balloons; they don't do that much anymore. They've kind of faded. But now they blow bubbles, outside,” he said.
“They would bring balloons, and they would fly them up in the air. I don't know if it was against the law or what. It might be cheaper to go with the bubbles.”
The Rev. Joseph Boomhower, pastor at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church in Chicora for the past four years, said he's officiated at 320 weddings in his 28-year career.
And he's learned at least one thing: He won't work with dogs ever again.
“I had a bad experience with dogs. I don't have dogs anymore,” said Boomhower.
In that instance, he said the couple thought it would be a nice gesture to have a dog as their ring bearer during their outdoor wedding at Yellow Creek State Park, east of Indiana, Pa.The trip down the aisle did not go smoothly.“He took off after some ducks with the rings,” Boomhower said of the dog. “We ended up just doing the ceremony without the rings. They had to catch up with the dog an hour later. It was a Labrador. It had the best time of anyone in the wedding.”A runaway ring bearer hasn't been the worst event to strike a wedding Boomhower officiated.“I've had the church struck by lighting and the bride passed out. We had to wait two hours,” he said.“It was terribly hot and the church didn't have air conditioning. When the power went off, the fans went off,” he said.“She threw up on me and I caught her, and we had to wait until she got better.”“Weddings are always an adventure,” he added.Once, a bride caught on fire, he said.“She had too much hair spray. When she lit the unity candle, the flame just jumped to her hair. The flame went probably about a foot,” he said. “We kind of just brushed her off and she went out and finished the wedding.”Boomhower said runaway ring bearers and hair spray ignitions shouldn't ruin a wedding.“I always encourage couples to embrace that. Celebrate the day with all its faux pas and all its uncertainties because that's what life is,” he said.As for what's changed, he said he has noticed weddings are getting simpler.“What I have noticed is kind of a tendency to be more simple. I don't know if it has to do with cost, because weddings are prohibitive in terms of cost,” Boomhower said.
“I always try to save couples money. I don't want them to start off with a huge debt. I want them to make it more simple and more sacred.”“I think having a huge number of bridesmaids and groomsmen has gone out of style, mostly because of the cost,” Boomhower said.“I have noticed that more couples are adding Holy Communion to their ceremonies. Holy Communion is a symbol of unity,” he said.Rob Wilson, pastor at Zion United Methodist Church in Sarver for the past three and a half years, said weddings in private settings other than a church can be interesting, in a good way.“I've had them in various venues from a person's home to places that rent their property to be used for weddings. Those are nice venues to celebrate a wedding,” Wilson said. “You get to see the personalities of the families come out, which is interesting.”Wilson said he's lost count of the number of weddings he's officiated during his 22 and a half years of ministry.Wilson said, “I think that, in general, couples enjoy the traditional wedding services, the unity candle, the exchange of rings, the various fundamental elements of the wedding service that people tend to value.”“I guess one thing that is a little more common is the use of what's being called a sand ceremony as opposed to a unity candle,” Wilson said. “The mixture of the sand celebrates Christ's love with the love of the husband and wife as it is celebrated in the context of the marriage.”He added, “One thing that we celebrate in the wedding ceremony, is it is really a celebration of the gift of God's love and the gift of one another in a relationship that they share.”Cantor Michal Gray-Schaffer of Congregation B'nai Abraham in Butler has done only one marriage and one renewal of vows in the three and a half years she's been at the synagogue.“It's just the age group I have at the moment. Nobody's at the marriageable age,” said Gray-Schaffer.“I have a lot of young families and a lot of old families. We don't have many 20-somethings or 30-somethings.”
With Jewish weddings, she said, “The main thing you would notice if you were somebody non-Jewish attending the service, we have a chuppah, a structure with four poles and some kind of coverings and some way to connect the four poles. We have a white velvet covering at B'nai Abraham.”“I have seen them done with a grandfather's Tallis or prayer shawl,” she said.“Sometimes the florist will make the chuppah involved,” she added.Gray-Schaffer said, “At the end of the ceremony, the groom breaks a glass. There are different interpretations as to why he breaks the glass.”“One interpretation is to remember the destruction of the second great temple in Jerusalem,” she said.“The more popular reason is to show how marriage is fragile and to be ever vigilant and work very hard to have a strong marriage.”One thing that's changed, she said, is the blessing for the service called the seven blessings.“In the seven blessings, traditionally the woman circled the man seven times,” she said.“In an Orthodox synagogue, they would still do it that way. In Reform and Conservative synagogues, they wouldn't circle at all, or maybe the bride would do one circle and the groom would do one circle. They would split it.”
