JEFFERSON TWP — The upheaval of moving and beginning life in a new home requires strength, energy and stamina. Moving to a smaller home in a place where everyone is a stranger can magnify the stress.

That is the reality for any senior relocating to one of the 327 apartments of Haven I, II and III at Concordia in Jefferson Township. The apartments are a retirement living community for independent residents.

But residents are helping their new neighbors adjust.

“All three of the buildings have some version of a welcoming committee,” said Cathy Questiaux, life transitions counselor for Concordia Lutheran Ministries.

“People were telling me, 'Think of it as the first day of school,'” Questiaux said.

They wondered “Where will I go?” and “Will I be accepted?” and “Will they mind me sitting with them?”

Haven staff started making suggestions.

“Haven II took the ball and ran with it. They developed their own version,” Questiaux said.

Haven II's Building Buddy program tries to make the transition as pleasant as possible.

“It's not just 'Hello' and 'Goodbye.' It's 'I'm going to nurture this person through at least the initial transition,'” Questiaux said.

Charlotte Hoener has been with the Haven II program since it started. She and Ann Hindin, both residents, are chairwomen of the welcoming committee.

The Building Buddy program started two years ago this month and has helped 25 new residents.

Hoener and Hindin find out about new residents from the building coordinator. Then, as soon as they move in — often on the same day — Hoener and Hinden stop by.

“We connect them with a person who lives close to their apartment that they can go to to ask questions. They'll go to meals together in the beginning. Depending on the person, two weeks to a month is usually enough. It just seems to make the new resident more comfortable when they move in, that they can have one person that they can always go to,” Hoener said.

“We try to take the Building Buddy person with us,” Hindin said. “People are very willing to do this.”

Along with blueberry muffins from Hoener, new residents receive a booklet with information such as laundry, shopping trips, weekly activities, opportunities for volunteering, medical transport and telephone numbers.

Hoener said the buddy sometimes reminds the new arrival about activities or helps the arrivals complete their weekly menu.

“I've noticed too on our campus here in our independent living, everybody on their floor wants to meet them and interact with them,” Hoener said.

“I just enjoy meeting new people, and I want people to feel welcome in this new environment. When you move from your home and come to a strange place and live in an apartment, that's such a huge adjustment for people. I want people to feel like this is a nice place to live,” she said.

Questiaux said some buddies go beyond the transition and become friends.

“As in any place, there are people who choose not to join in,” Hindin said. “No one forces them to do otherwise.”

Most seniors move to Concordia after living 30 to 60 years in single-family homes. They have their own routines and ways of doing things.

Questiaux said the retirement community offers many benefits but it is different from where they lived before. For example, meals are available in the dining rooms at fixed times.

“There may be up to 50 or 60 people having dinner. They all know each other. It's not assigned seating, but they are sitting in their favorite seat,” Questiaux said. “It's intimidating.”

“It's very daunting. As with everywhere, people are sort of clannish,” Hindin said. “If you get your Building Buddy to take you to the dining room the first time, she'll introduce you to other people. It's like an icebreaker.”

Rosalie Thomasmeyer moved into Haven II with her husband in 2015 after living in Florida for 13 years. Their Building Buddy was an outgoing neighbor.

“One of the things I was kind of impressed with was she came over with some magazines. By the time evening rolled round, I was ready to look at a magazine,” Thomasmeyer said. “I thought that was very thoughtful. I never would have thought to do that.”

When the Thomasmeyers went to the dining room for the first time, it helped that a recent acquaintance motioned them to a table.

“That was wonderful. I learned a valuable lesson: how important it was to meet people there,” Thomasmeyer said. “That's the time you meet the other residents.”

She doesn't hesitate to greet new folks at Haven II.

“I watch out for people that are new,” Thomasmeyer said. “I seem to adopt them.”

Questiaux said the Haven residents can make a new person feel invited in a way that the staff cannot.

“They alone can offer that gift as neighbors and fellow residents,” she said.

“Personal greetings are priceless, and we live so much now in a world of computers and technology. That's what makes this program all the more special,” Questiaux said. “It reaches into a place where they hunger for that social contact. That's what they can come and receive in a retirement community.”