Are the winter blues real?
December is not a happy time of year for many people.
While it stands in contrast to the omnipresent cheerful Christmas carols and holiday decorations that occupy houses and yards nationwide, professionals in mental health said these factors can contribute to stress or anxiety as the year draws to a close.
Tami Micsky, associate professor of social work at Slippery Rock University, said the presumed happiness of the season can put pressure on a person to also feel those emotions, but when those feelings are not there it can be difficult mentally. People who are processing a hardship or negative event in particular can experience conflicting emotions that could lead to depressive or anxious feelings.
“What we often see this time of year, with all these winter holidays coming up is this clash of feelings,” Micsky said. “We're supposed to be happy and for people experiencing a loss, those feelings of grief really contradict everything we're told to feel this time of year.”
This information is nothing new — the National Alliance on Mental Illness Butler County has had programs around December that tackle family support and individual support.
“In the past couple years we've had requests for extra support over the holidays,” said Donna Lamison, executive director of NAMI Butler County. “If any time of year is going to kick up and trigger things for people, the holidays are a big one.”
Micsky recently earned recognition as a fellow in thanatology by the Association for Death Education and Counseling. She said that outside of her teaching career, her social work background led her to speaking directly with people going through tough situations.
Micsky said some people benefit from sharing their feelings with a group because they can see how others are dealing with similar difficulties.
“In my past work I did a lot of group work and one of the things we would ask is for people to help each other,” Micsky said. “The reality is there's different styles of grieving and some people really benefit from a support group because they like talking about it.”
Lamison, too, said support groups can be helpful in times of strife. NAMI offers workshops that people can attend to share and be shared with and the agency also offers educational sessions where people can learn about processing feelings.
And people don’t even have to open up at NAMI’s sessions — Lamison said they are led by staff or volunteers, who help facilitate and guide conversations at the sessions. Just being in the presence of others can be helpful, Lamison added.
“My advice is come. Just accept that you are feeling not OK, and there are others that are feeling the same way you are,” Lamison said. “If you are not able to speak, at least you'll hear something that is going to help.”
The educational sessions alone can help a person learn about the grieving process, to help themselves and others. Micsky said the “five stages of grief” is not entirely accurate to the real life grieving process but knowledge of the concept can also trip someone up and disrupt their own process.
“There are no stages to grief,” Micsky said. “I teach class at the graduate level and I do a lot of workshops and they are stuck in that idea. That's one of the reasons I talk about grief, is that we don't need to feel that pressure that we are going on this journey.”
Lamison compared grief to a personal journey, where progress is not linear. She said she notices some people go through this journey in NAMI’s support groups.
“Particularly in our peer groups, you really see a change,” Lamison said. “We have two individuals who have been dealing with mental health issues their whole lives, and by becoming involved in the peer groups and by diving in and taking the weekly classes, they have learned so much.
“It's amazing to me to see the difference. It gives me goose bumps, it still does.”
Micsky said there are a lot of factors that can contribute to a person feeling bad around the holidays — the loss of sunlight due to the time change, stress caused by personal obligations and changes in daily routine can add up to negative feelings.
Adding in holidays, which are intended to be celebrations, can add to the stress and conflicting feelings, especially for people who are grieving. Micsky said, if possible, planning ahead to avoid potential triggers can help a person avoid the negative feelings associated with them.
“A lot of people feel that anticipation. We're anticipating Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah,” Micsky said. “For some people it works really well to think ahead. Keep your traditions going.”
Lamison also said people can get a rush of emotions around the holidays because they may recall a happy memory with a person who is no longer in their life.
“Because of the expectations, the societal expectations. It leads to a lot of anxiety for folks, depending on what's going on with them,” Lamison said. “There's tips to ground yourself, to use when something has triggered you, which can be as small as a location, a venue something is taking place, where something just triggers something for you.”
Lamison also said that a person should not risk their health when it comes to anxiety and depression and an immediate option for help is the crisis hot line, 988, which is available for anyone looking for someone to speak to.
“If people are having trouble functioning, in particular if you are having suicidal ideation, than certainly dial 988,” Lamison said.
