In Loving Memory of Caitlyn Marie Kaufman who passed away five years ago, December 3, 2020.

Hi Caitlyn,

Here we are, another year gone by but this year marks the 5th anniversary of your passing. A half decade of not seeing you, hearing your voice and laughter, receiving a text, facetime, or phone call. Any parent can only imagine how long that must seem and I’m here to tell you, its an eternity. I’ve learned that “TIME” is tricky, it goes slow but at the same time so fast.

I’ve said it for the last 5 years, time passes, but the pain and grief linger. Grief changes over time but never goes away. No matter how much time passes the hole in our hearts will always remain. I know others forget and move on but for me, your dad, Tyler and Alysa, that won’t happen, not for us. I’ve learned it’s those individuals that don’t understand these feelings who are fortunate, because they’ve not experienced the type of grief/loss we have. They’ve not lost someone they’ve loved SO MUCH that it’s brought them to their knees begging to take them and bring you back. That’s a loss honey, that you don’t ever get over, you learn from that kind of loss. You learn to be kind to others, you learn to appreciate what’s in front of you and you learn to be present. YOU were a remarkable teacher while you were alive and you are still that same remarkable teacher, Caitlyn!!

I was recently told that a person dies twice…once when they physically pass and a second time when you stop saying their name. I assure you the latter will NEVER happen as long as I am alive and breathing. I say your name every single day to someone.

As I’ve said in the past, as every anniversary approaches, the days and weeks leading up to it, become a little more difficult. I am a mess and this year was no different, the tears flow randomly, I become a bit more reclusive, short, and although I don’t mean to be this way it just happens. I won’t apologize for it though. MY LOVE FOR YOU was no joke nor was it to be reckoned with, it continues to grow just as my loss does. Just as my missing you does!! That can’t be helped, not when you had the kind of relationship that we had. The closeness that we shared. I am so grateful for that! I was truly blessed beyond measure!!

WE have so much to be THANKFUL for this year! Tyler and Alysa blessed us with your new nephew, Gray!!! What joy he brings to all of us! Watching Tyler and Alysa with him and how they care for him makes me so proud. They are wonderful loving parents!! I talk to Gray about you because I want him to know who you were. I want him to know you as if you were right here with us and I know on several different occasions you were, right there with us. You would’ve made an AWESOME, Auntie Cait! Keep an eye on him and keep him safe from the evils of the world.

I will always be so grateful that God chose me to be your MOM. YOU made me PROUD and continue to make me proud. You ALWAYS know when I need a sign from you and you never let me down!!! I love you and miss you so much!! Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you. Truthfully, not a period of time throughout my day goes by that I don’t think of you. I don’t really know how to explain it but you are always in the forefront of my mind, no matter what I am doing.

Thank you for remaining so close to us, sis! Thank you for keeping us safe and for watching over the newest member of our family, Gray. We all MISS YOU SO MUCH! WE LOVE YOU HONEY and JUST KNOW, December 3rd is a day that will continue to hurt our hearts!

Loving you until my last breath, and then I will run to you with open arms and tears in my eyes. Mom

We LOVE and will ALWAYS MISS YOU,

Mom, Dad, Tyler, and Alysa, Gray,

Mav, Mia, and Zeus