Quickly, would someone please hide the newspaper from Big Ben? Spare him and us the possibility of challenging the G.O.A.T. for shortest retirements in NFL history by a future Hall of Fame quarterback.

The one great aspect of this is that Ben Roethlisberger’s tremendous career won’t be overshadowed by Tom Brady being inducted at the same time five years from now in Ben’s home state; the one he dominated for 18 years. Please, Ben don’t even think about it.

Some can relate to Brady’s decision not to retire. Perhaps, his wife went on a spending spree and he needs to work another year to cover the new bills. Maybe his kids have decided they don’t want to use the smart option of community college for two years before moving on to another school and that extra tuition isn’t in the grand Brady plan.

Maybe Bill Belichick, Brady’s coach with the Patriots, has asked him to coordinate retirement with him and they can each do a multiple-city retirement extravaganza and collect congratulatory gifts from each place they blundered victories over the years.

Perhaps, Brady’s teammate Rob Gronkowski couldn’t find another team where he could display his talents unless his buddy, Tom, came too. Our prediction for Tom Brady in the 2022-23 football season will be one of injury, disappointment, reality and jokes.

He is truly the G.O.A.T. There is no dispute there. He will probably have a season that will make him one of the 10 top quarterbacks in the league. He will extend his many NFL records to even more insurmountable heights. He will break a few more teams’ hearts with late game comebacks. None of that will be surprising.

But let’s hope his second to none career doesn’t end on a stretcher or with him playing the left end of the bench because his talents have finally deserted him. Maybe his good senses will return and he will ride off into the beautiful Tampa Bay sunset on Gronk’s shoulders and not crippled under a blitzing linebacker.

The other stars (no, Tom Brady you aren’t the only one) may be tired of his headline-grabbing antics off the field, even if they can’t stop him on the field. Short of having another Lombardi Trophy in his hands, Brady seemed to have an ideal retirement moment. Retirement event No. 3 may not be so perfectly staged.

— RV