I recall the days when having a fistfight didn’t mean your life had to end. In the neighborhood where I grew up, an occasional fight wasn’t uncommon. Sometimes it started because of bantering while playing a sport. These skirmishes often taught us that we could disagree but still remain friends. It was, in some sense, progress. Those moments didn’t result in anyone going to the hospital or becoming lifelong enemies.

The abolitionist Frederick Douglass once said, “If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” He was referring to the hard work, sacrifice and dedication it would take to ensure freedom for African Americans. He was declaring that the road to freedom would be hard but traveling it would be well worth it. Moving our nation from a place that embraced slavery to one that embodied the virtues of freedom, democracy and equality was progress that made us all better.

Unfortunately, the philosophy of struggle seems to have lost its luster. In our politics, we have become so polarized that we are unwilling to put in the necessary work to find common ground.

It’s time for us to rethink how we are communicating and treating each other. We have different points of view. Having a disagreement should not make us enemies. How we act and behave during this process is what sets the stage for mutual respect and understanding.

Far too many of us have forgotten the Golden Rule. We see growing evidence of adults misbehaving in public.

We see motorists cutting off others in traffic, driving closely to force others to go faster or using profane gestures. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, a large number of collisions can be attributed to road rage and aggressive driving.

Violence and maladaptive behavior have become normalized for our youths?

We read about altercations in schools that lead to retaliatory actions in the streets. This overarching mindset and our culture of intolerance are affecting the hearts and minds of far too many of our youths. They may believe that any form of disagreement means that the other person is their combatant. Common ground isn’t sought when each person is villainized.

It’s our responsibility as adults to change this perspective and provide a more civil environment. Attitude reflects leadership, as the saying goes. So are we providing the right leadership and examples?

Jerald McNair is an administrator at School District 151 in South Holland, Ill.