Finding a Connection
A diagnosis of breast or other female cancer can cause feelings of isolation, fear and confusion.
For more than 20 years, the Butler Breast Cancer and Women's Cancer Support Group has helped hundreds of county women ease those feelings and navigate the labyrinth of emotion that follows a cancer diagnosis.
Cheryl Schaefer, the group's longtime leader, said the tightly knit group has been unable to hold monthly meetings at the Butler Health System Crossroads Campus since the coronavirus pandemic, so they met in the facility's parking lot in September.
“They just felt they needed to be able to see faces, so we did it with social distancing and bring your own chair,” Schaefer said. “The girls just feel we're disconnected, and there's information they needed to get.”
She said meeting in a group setting is the foundation of the group's purpose.
“They need other people's opinions on things and they ask questions about what other people have experienced,” Schaefer said. “Say I'm having a symptom. I can ask 'Has anybody else ever had this or what did you do when this happened?'”
She said being with others can ease the inherent fear of cancer patients, especially those who are filled with dread at the thought of an upcoming mammogram.“Once you've had breast cancer, every time you have a mammogram, there is a terrible foreboding for a lot of the women,” Schaefer said.She said some women have nightmares and some cannot bring themselves to go to the appointment alone.Schaefer has accompanied dozens of group members to their mammogram appointments over the years.“But there again, with COVID, depending on where you're going, they only allow the patient inside,” she said.In normal times, monthly meetings consist of discussions on new developments in female cancers, new doctors in the area or new types of treatments.Members can also ask questions of others in the group or share issues they experience with medication reactions, illness from chemotherapy and what can ease it, or help with weight loss.Schaefer and more experienced group members also help women new to the group with information on where to get various medical supplies, prostheses, wigs or hair halos.Guest speakers also share their expertise every other meeting, weather permitting, Schaefer said.Helping with the billsDonations to the group are used to pay bills for female cancer patients, like medications, medical costs, rent, baby-sitting, gas to get to their treatments, and any other needs they may have.Schaefer said health care workers contact her on occasion to report that a woman has cancer and no insurance, hasn't met her deductible or can't afford her prosthesis or compression garment.“Normally, I just say 'Send me the bill,'” Schaefer said. “That way, they can walk out of there with their prosthesis and be able to look like a woman again.”
Schaefer has planned and lead every meeting and coordinated donation funds since 2000, even though she has been diagnosed with uterine cancer once, breast cancer twice and thyroid cancer twice in a span of 27 years beginning in 1990.“I never missed a meeting,” she said. “When I had the second breast (removed), I didn't tell any of my girls I was having it done because I didn't want to scare them.”Schaefer attended a meeting on the night she was released from the hospital after the mastectomy, although her husband drove her.“She is amazing,” said Kate Coradi of Butler Township, who has been a member of the group for three years. “She does an awful lot of things people don't know about behind the scenes to help people who may not be able to go to the group.”Coradi said Schaefer may be on the phone all day helping and comforting group members or female cancer patients who either cannot or do not want to attend group meetings, even though Schaefer has a husband, dogs and a house to care for.“And she never says 'boo' about it,” Coradi said.Schaefer said she is thrilled to help the women of Butler County deal with their cancer diagnoses.“Anytime I was going through any of this, I didn't have anybody doing any of this for me,” she said. “There wasn't anybody to help me. My husband worked so I had no rides and I didn't have a wig although I lost all my hair.”
Schaefer said she will continue to arrange group meetings, which see about 20 women per month attending, even though meetings might be different or fewer until the pandemic is over.“It's a wonderful, wonderful group of ladies who I would not trade for the world,” she said. “They are truly like family.”Coradi agrees.“For me, it's the camaraderie and being able to talk to people about the same things you're going through,” she said.Coradi is a three-year breast cancer survivor.When she first attended a meeting, Coradi had many questions for the women there who had survived and thrived after their diagnosis. Now, she is the woman new members approach as they deal with the shocking news that they will be treated for cancer.“I still go to meetings because of the people you meet and the friendships you form,” Coradi said, “and being able to show new people who come in that you can survive.”She said the group gave her stability when she was reeling over her diagnosis.“It helped me out and calmed me down,” Coradi said of the group.To donate to the Butler Breast and Women's Cancer Support Group, send a check to the group in care of Cheryl Schaefer, 166 Jamisonville Rd., Butler, PA 16001.Those who wish to donate cash, or women who just need to talk about their cancer issues, can call Schaefer at 724-282-4421.“You don't have to attend meetings to get help,” she said.
