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Interview with a reindeer - Dasher

There I was, driving off to cover a basketball game, when I noticed something odd happening in an open field.

There was a deer. Not an uncommon sight in these parts, of course ... but this deer appeared to be actually exercising.

I had to investigate. After pulling over, vacating my car and cautiously approaching this deer, I figured I needed to grab a photo of this.

Sorry, no pictures, please.

Enrietto: What? I mean, did you just speak?

Do you see anybody else here?

Enrietto: Reindeers can't talk!

Yeah, you're right. Call it a dream. You never saw me. Now let me resume my workout.

Enrietto: Wait a second. What's your name? And why can't I take your picture?

My name's Dasher. You can't take my picture because the big guy doesn't allow it. Kinda ruins the mystique, ya know?

Enrietto: Whoa! You're Dasher? Santa Claus's Dasher?

Well, he doesn't own me. But we are under contract, yes.

Enrietto: Under contract for how long?

We're year-to-year. There's always some young buck trying to come up and take our job. Rudolph's safe, though. He's a legend and has a lifetime deal.

Enrietto: How did you become one of the other eight?


Enrietto: Really?

Haven't you ever heard of reindeer games? They're tryouts, actually. Santa and the elves measure how high and far we can leap, our dexterity, our endurance ... That Christmas Eve is a long night for us.

Enrietto: Wait a minute. The song goes Dasher and Dancer, Donner ...

That's right. I was the No. 1 draft pick, baby.

Enrietto: How'd you get the name Dasher?

I'd rather not say.

Enrietto: Come on!


Enrietto: Please?

I gave myself the name Dasher. I wanted them to pay attention to my speed and athleticism at the reindeer games. The name just sounds fast. I think it gave me an edge.

Enrietto: So what was your original name?

Never mind.

Enrietto: Spill it!

Ok, OK ... Cuddles.

Enrietto: You can't be serious.

Look, every deer, when we're born, we all look like Bambi. Only I was a Cuddles.

Enrietto: At least you grew out of it.

And into fame. We're the real Elite Eight, you know.

Enrietto: And Rudolph.

Yeah, yeah ... him, too.

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