Interview with a reindeer - Dasher
There I was, driving off to cover a basketball game, when I noticed something odd happening in an open field.
There was a deer. Not an uncommon sight in these parts, of course ... but this deer appeared to be actually exercising.
I had to investigate. After pulling over, vacating my car and cautiously approaching this deer, I figured I needed to grab a photo of this.
Sorry, no pictures, please.
Enrietto: What? I mean, did you just speak?
Do you see anybody else here?
Enrietto: Reindeers can't talk!
Yeah, you're right. Call it a dream. You never saw me. Now let me resume my workout.
Enrietto: Wait a second. What's your name? And why can't I take your picture?
My name's Dasher. You can't take my picture because the big guy doesn't allow it. Kinda ruins the mystique, ya know?
Enrietto: Whoa! You're Dasher? Santa Claus's Dasher?
Well, he doesn't own me. But we are under contract, yes.
Enrietto: Under contract for how long?
We're year-to-year. There's always some young buck trying to come up and take our job. Rudolph's safe, though. He's a legend and has a lifetime deal.
Enrietto: How did you become one of the other eight?
Haven't you ever heard of reindeer games? They're tryouts, actually. Santa and the elves measure how high and far we can leap, our dexterity, our endurance ... That Christmas Eve is a long night for us.
Enrietto: Wait a minute. The song goes Dasher and Dancer, Donner ...
That's right. I was the No. 1 draft pick, baby.
Enrietto: How'd you get the name Dasher?
I'd rather not say.
Enrietto: Come on!
I gave myself the name Dasher. I wanted them to pay attention to my speed and athleticism at the reindeer games. The name just sounds fast. I think it gave me an edge.
Enrietto: So what was your original name?
Enrietto: Spill it!
Ok, OK ... Cuddles.
Enrietto: You can't be serious.
Look, every deer, when we're born, we all look like Bambi. Only I was a Cuddles.
Enrietto: At least you grew out of it.
And into fame. We're the real Elite Eight, you know.
Enrietto: And Rudolph.
Yeah, yeah ... him, too.