Hi, folks.

Scoop here, on the scene as always, looking to get the in side story on the holiday season.

And when it comes to Christmas, who better to get the “scoop” from than the big man himself?

Santa Claus doesn't normally give interviews, of course, but I got lucky. I flew south for a vacation, was checking into a motel in Miami and the guy in front of me registered under the name of Kris Kringle. I had to find out.

Scoop:Excuse me, sir, but are you really Santa Claus or is this signature some kind of a joke?

Santa (whispering): Yes, I'm Santa Claus. Who wants to know?

Scoop: Allow me to introduce myself. My name's Scoop. I dig up stories for the Butler Eagle, a newspaper in Western Pennsylvania.

Santa: Of course. The large beak and feathers should have given you away. Going to a late Halloween party or something?

Scoop:You're one to talk. I'm looking at Santa Claus and see no white beard, no red suit, no black boots ...

Santa: I'm on vacation! I always take some time for myself before the busy time. Trust me, I can grow that beard back in time for Christmas Eve, no problem.

Miami is no place for my red suit and black boots ... or gloves, for that matter.

Scoop:But I've never seen a picture of you wearing anything else.

Santa: Take a close look at me. Would you want to see me in a bathing suit? Shorts? Tank top?

Scoop:I get the point. So how old are you?

Santa: Born in 280 A.D. You can do the math from there. I've lost count.

Scoop:Amazing. But ... how did you become Santa Claus?

Santa: I was born in Turkey. My parents died and left me a nice inheritance. I began helping people in need by leaving them bags of gold. I became known as the patron saint of children. One thing led to another and here I am.

Scoop: Flying all over the world on Christmas Eve. I'm envious.

Santa: Well, I don't go all over the world, exactly. In Poland, the gifts come from the stars. In Hungary, angels deliver the presents. In Syria, it's the youngest camel. Spain and Mexico, it's the Three Kings.

Scoop: Quite an assortment.

Santa: The important thing is we all stand for goodness and bringing joy across the Earth.

Scoop: How did you get so big, anyway?

Santa: Every stop I make on my Christmas Eve deliveries, there's cookies and milk on the table for me. Nice gesture, but I need a well-rounded diet, not a well-rounded body.

Once I got big, Thomas Nast did a dramatic drawing of me and my reindeer back in the 1800s. I've had this image ever since.

Scoop: Your reindeer are in pretty good shape.

Santa: Pull a sleigh with me and a huge bag of gifts in it all night, get fed carrots at every stop and you'd be in pretty good shape, too.

Scoop: Do the other eight reindeer ever get jealous of Rudolph?

Santa: Nah. They're too busy playing reindeer games. They let the red-nosed guy have his night in the sun.

Scoop:Don't you mean moon?

Santa: Don't hit me with semantics. You'll get a lump of coal.

Scoop:Do you really do that?

Santa: Not anymore. It stains my gloves.

Scoop: Hey, thanks for the time. Safe travels.

Santa: My reindeer take care of the itinerary.

Scoop: Poor guys.

Santa: They're fine with it. They'd rather be in the air in December than on the ground in November.