Mom knows Best
Mom knows best, in so many ways.
She knows her children longer, more intimately and more lovingly than anyone, except possibly a future spouse.
Mom always seems to know just what to say and when to say it. The sometimes-stinging comments were never meant to hurt but to motivate, sometimes with ironic humor:
“A little soap and water never killed anybody.”
“Close the door! You weren't born in a barn.”
“I didn't ask who put it there, I said pick it up.”
For a Mother's Day tribute, Butler Eagle staff writers asked a sampling of people on their news beats about the things their mothers said to them when they were kids. Do they still follow her advice? Do they find themselves repeating mom's sayings for others today?
Here are their responses.
Nadine Schorr of Butler said her mother, Mildred Susnjar of Baldwin Borough, now 87, had many words of wisdom.
“Always remember no matter how you treat someone reflects on who you really are. How you treat somebody will come back to you twofold,” Schorr said. “ ... and have patience with people. If you're going to practice patience, practice it with people.”
“I think I do them,” Schorr said. “I have two children, and I hope they're the same. I believe they are.”
“I was always thinking this in my head,” Schorr said. “I wasn't perfect.”
Her mother said Schorr would know when she failed.
“She was so right. She really was,” Schorr said.
Schorr works in the Butler County Clerk of Courts office.
Deanna Panza of Cherry Township said, “In our house my children, Darian Bly and Justin Castello, quickly learned 'If Momma ain't happy, no one else is.' This is true when it came to giving a piece of advice to them too. They knew that they were going to get my advice whether they wanted it or not.”
Panza, a staff member at Dassa McKinney Elementary School in Clay Township (Moniteau School District), said her mother, the late Ellen Hill of Valencia, left a lasting impression.
“I somewhat learned the common sense skill from my mother and I see this as an important lesson for my kids,” said Panza.
“My advice was not a saying; it came to them in the form of problem-solving skills which taught them to use their natural 'common sense' skills. This allowed Darian and Justin to be competent, creative and have a better leadership aptitude,” Panza said. “Darian will now be passing these life lessons down to her own daughter, Avery Bly.”
Vince Sommariva of Mars said, “There were quite a few words of wisdom from my mother. She was definitely old-school. She emphasized work integrity. She was very adamant about working hard and respecting other people.”His mother was Josephine Sommariva of Diamond Street.“(I) absolutely still try to follow” her example, Sommariva said.He said it's something to apply every day when dealing with people in business and in social activities.Sommariva believes he has passed this on to his four daughters.“They are good kids. They are working hard,” he said.“Also, my mother was an excellent cook, and I followed,” Sommariva said. This is especially true for pasta sauce.“She's very well missed. We lost her about four years ago. She was a special woman to all of us,” Sommariva said.He also has nine grandchildren.He is an instructor for Seniors for Safe Driving and the Pennsylvania Motorcycle Safety program.John Evans remembers his mother's advice, “If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.”Evans, Butler's building official and zoning officer, said his mother, Ruth Evans, passed away 10 years ago.“I practice it every day and tell that to my daughter,” he said.“My mother had always been very, very supportive of myself and my seven brothers and sisters,” Evans said.Joe Gray's mother offered up some pretty straightforward advice: “Stay out of trouble.”Pearl Gray of Butler Township watched her son grow up and become Butler city engineer.“I try to stay out of trouble, and I try to tell my kids to stay out of trouble,” Gray said.“She's always been there. She's my greatest supporter. She is always a smiling, pleasant person. I'm lucky to have her,” he said.
Julie Grove, 45, a second-grade teacher at Penn Christian Academy, honors her mother daily in her work. Her mother, Linda Hart, now 77, of Indianapolis, Ind., was a teacher as well.“She was a great example of being a mom and a teacher,” Grove said. “We have a long line of teachers in our family, and I kind of followed in her footsteps. She always made me want to be a teacher.”Hart's most frequent words of advice were encouragement.“'Always to do your best.' She was a great encourager and always encouraged me to work hard in all that I did. She told me often she was proud of me.”As a teacher, Grove said that she absolutely shares that wisdom by telling her students they should do the best work they are capable of doing.Marcy Miller, 57, of Zelienople, a first-grade teacher at McQuistion Elementary School, said her mom, Lois Porter, 78, of Zelienople, modeled her best message:“Love family, learning and travel.”Miller remembers that her mother always told her to be herself, advice she has extended to her own three children.“They were always to be themselves and not worry about what other people think,” she said.Miller's three children are now 37, 35 and 30 years old. She said she definitely shared her mother's wisdom with them and has hoped she instilled a love of learning and travel in them as well.Rachel Swink, 33, of Zelienople said her mother, Barbara Swink, 62, of Dawson, Pa., always shared her positive attitude.“She told me just to always, always, always stay positive and see the best in everyone in every circumstance,” she said. “To be the best person I can be, every day.”Swink said she tries her best to follow her mother's philosophy.“Every day, I think of those words,” she said.Swink said she shares her mother's teachings with her co-workers at Boylan Funeral Home. She said it feels natural to pass down Barbara's wisdom.“They are like my second family,” she said.
Emma Hays, 11, of Prospect said she and her two brothers, Nate Gill, 14, and Chase Gill, 16, share the same wisdom from their mother, Keri Raisley Hays, 42, of Prospect.Keri operates Raisley Funeral Home in Prospect.Emma said her mother has always told her to help others before she helps herself and to focus on inner beauty. She said she can understand these things because her mother leads by example.“She always puts others first, and she doesn't judge and always supports me from school work, to music, to playing sports,” she said. “She has taught me that everyone has their own talents, and when kids put them together, we make a great team.Emma is in the fifth grade at Moraine Elementary School in the Slippery Rock School District. She said she gets good grades and feels like a leader, thanks to her mother's motivating advice. She said she hopes to continue to lead by example like her mother even as she prepares to enter a new school.“I am lucky to have a loving family,” Emma said.<i>Eagle staff writers Laurie Lindsay, Aaron McKrell, Amanda Spadaro and Nathan Bottinger contributed to this report.</i>
