Moms' Bits of Wisdom
Mothers do much more than keep their children clothed, fed and entertained.
They teach us about life and getting along. They model kindness and good manners. They comfort our fears and anxieties; they build up our courage and self-esteem.
And they are among the first in their children's lives to impart wisdom — the kind of wisdom that sticks with you forever.
Eagle staff writers asked a cross-section of Butler County leaders about nuggets of wisdom they received from their moms. Here are some of the responses.
Councilman Richard Schontz Jr. said his mother's words have had a big impact on his career and how he conducts himself as a city councilman.“She always told me to do my very best, regardless of the size of the task,” said Schontz, who was elected to his second term in November.Schontz's mother, Dorothy Schontz of Butler, had plenty of experience around politics, as she is married to former mayor Richard Schontz Sr.“She told me to always listen to other people's opinions, but to always remain true to your cause,” Schontz said.The councilman said the advice has certainly aided him during his time serving the city.“It's definitely part of my philosophy,” he said.
Butler's mayor said his mother gave him simple advice when he was growing up.“Go to church on Sunday,” Tom Donaldson said. “And always tell the truth. That's what she always told me.”Donaldson said his mother, Lucille Donaldson of Evans City, always urged him to attend Sunday school as a child.The mayor, who is in his first term in office, said his mother's advice has stuck with him through the years.“I certainly try to follow it,” he said.
Tracy Vitale said her mother was strong and supportive — she still is, in fact — but as much as possible she believed in letting her children figure things out on their own.“One of my mother's greatest assets, which I'm not even sure she is aware of, is that she never gave me or my siblings advice,” Vitale said, “nor was she ever judgmental about decisions that we made. This unique quality was definitely her strongest asset as a parent.”Her approach fostered trust between parent and child, Vitale said. “I think this is why my two siblings and I shared everything with her growing up, even now as adults. We always felt comfortable confiding in her.”Vitale said she definitely learned her work ethic from her mother.“She often held two jobs at once to make ends meet,” she said.Vitale offered advice of her own to all parents, advice she learned from seeing rather than hearing.“Give your kids chores,” she said. “My mother was sure to give me and my siblings plenty of chores. My siblings and I learned very early on that there was no such thing as gender-specific work. She showed no prejudice between what were perceived as male and female chores. I often had to mow the grass and my brother was expected to clean the house equally.“As we got older, even more was expected of us. This is definitely something I have tried to instill in my children.“It is my personal belief that my mother forcing us to work hard at first in our home, and later by holding jobs as teenagers and through college, taught us valuable lessons about working hard and the value of a dollar.”
Scott Heinauer doesn't pause in naming the first bit of advice that comes to mind from his mother, Ann: “Always dress warm. Wear a coat because you can always take it off,” he said.Not only does Heinauer follow that advice, but he passes it on to players as coach of the Mars football team.“It makes sense,” he says.
Pam Bauman, mayor of Saxonburg said her mother, New York City native Gloria Kosel, always bubbled with colorful sayings like, “Don't hang it from your nose.”According to Bauman, that saying means, to be careful about what you put in writing.“She just had a ton of them like, 'If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well.' And 'Pick your battles wisely.' Will it make a difference in your life in one year? If you cannot say yes to that, it is not worth it.”Bauman said when she was growing up she didn't appreciate her mother's wisdom, but “My mother's advice, as well as my father's advice, made me a better person. And I tell those same things to my two children. It's just so true.”
Dr. Amesh Adalja, a board-certified infectious disease physician at UPMC and Butler native, said his mother, Dr. Varsha Mehta, the former chief of medical staff at the Butler VA, taught that it's up to him to turn his dreams into reality.“The most important lesson my mother taught me was about motive power,” Adalja said. “She understood that, in order to achieve something, it is one's own motive power that is essential. Any ambition I had was to be pursued with my own might, not prayer or wishful thinking, but diligence to a goal.“This identification she made for me as a child has been crucial throughout my life and is something that I impart to anyone who seeks my advice.”
