Steeped inTradition
Wedding traditions include much more than that first dance as man and wife, tossing the bouquet and making a toast. Weddings from other cultures and religions can include broken glass, crowns and cups and henna tattoos.
The Rev. Paisius McGrath, pastor of SS. Peter and Paul Ukrainian Orthodox Church, 21 Evergreen St., Lyndora, said there are two traditions common to every Orthodox wedding.
“We do what is called a crowning, where we actually place crowns on the bride and groom,” said McGrath. “And then they walk around a small table at the front of the church three times. That is symbolic of their first steps in wedded life.”
“This symbolizes that the husband and wife are king and queen of their home,” McGrath said.
“Slavic Orthodox traditions use an actual crown. In the Antiochian or Greek Orthodox traditions, they would use a flower wreath that is formed in the form of a crown.”
“We also do what is called drinking from the common cup. The bride and bridegroom, symbolic of being newly married, drink from a common cup,” McGrath said. “There is no breaking of the cup as there is in other traditions, but they do drink together, usually wine.”
Cantor Michal Gray-Shaffer, who heads Congregation B'nai Abraham, 519 N. Main St., said there are several matrimonial traditions common in Jewish weddings.
“We try to be married under a chuppah, which is the bridal canopy,” Gray-Shaffer said. “Many synagogues have their own chuppah. It has four pillars, and it's a square at the top with four legs coming down.
“The top is usually covered, and it could be covered with a prayer shawl or tallit. It could be the father's or the grandfather's tallit.
“Or it could be totally decorated by the florist,” Gray-Shaffer said. “Generally, the top is covered and the sides are open.”
The meaning behind the chuppah, said Gray-Shaffer is that “Abraham and Sarah were known for their hospitality and welcoming everyone into their house, and the young couple is establishing their own home and household and the goal is to be as welcoming as Abraham and Sarah.
“There is a famous scene in Ben Stiller's 'Meet the Parents,' where Owen Wilson has hand carved a chuppah and it catches on fire,” Gray-Shaffer said.B'Nai Abraham has its own chuppah for use in marriages, she said.“Ours is metal, but they can be made out of wood too,” she said. “It has a beautiful embroidered cover. It's just a gorgeous velvet cover with embroidery with different biblical sayings concerning a wedding and love.“And there is a tradition that the bride circles the groom seven times during the course of the ceremony and that represents the seven days God made creation,” Gray-Shaffer said. “They are creating a new life together.“And there are seven blessings that are said also. They are basically praising God,” she said.“The custom that everyone knows abut is breaking the glass,” said Gray-Shaffer. “It is the very last thing in the ceremony.“The glass, or some rabbis use a light bulb because it breaks easier and makes at loud pop, is wrapped in a cloth or napkin.”Gray-Shaffer said there are different traditions behind the glass-breaking act.“The one I like is the bridal couple is reminded how fragile a marriage can be. They have to work hard on their marriage,” she said.“The most traditional is that we are remembering the destruction of the second temple in Jerusalem. Even in the midst of our greatest, happiest events, there is a thought for Jerusalem,” she said.Muslim wedding traditions tend to vary according to the cultures, said Saima Sitwat of Sewickley, a member of the Muslim Association of Greater Pittsburgh.
The graduate student at Pitt studying public and international affairs has been married 10 years and is the mother of two.Most Muslim weddings are in two parts, Sitwat said.“There is the religious tradition in accordance with what you read in the Holy Koran, and there are lots of cultural traditions which vary from culture to culture,” Sitwat said.For example, the wedding traditions in her native Pakistan would be different from a Muslim wedding in, say, the North African nation of Morocco.But there are some constants.“The religious part, the Nikah, that is basically exchanging the vows,” said Sitwat. “Mostly done by a cleric, but not necessarily is it done by a cleric.“In the ceremony, illustrations are read from the Holy Koran and the life of the prophet Mohammed concerning married life,” she said. “This part is generally the responsibility of the bride's family.”“Then there is the valima, the part given by the groom himself or his family, the reception after the ceremony,” Sitwat said.“In Pakistan, this is always a lavish feast for the groom to invite all his family members to introduce the bride and her family to them,” Sitwat said.Foods would include rice and meat dishes called biryani and kebabs.“Brides usually dress up very colorfully, especially in Pakistan and South Asia,” said Sitwat. “In Muslim countries closer to Europe, the brides dress in white.”
“Brides, most of them, apply henna,” she said, putting on elaborate designs for the wedding in an art called mehndi.“Brides traditionally put henna on their hands and feet up to ankles, a couple of days before the wedding. Nowadays, it is professionally done, before it was a very family-friendly event. The bride's female relatives would do it,” Sitwat said.Depending on the quality, the designs will remain on the skin for up to three weeks she said.Sitwat, who was married in Pakistan 10 years ago, took part in another tradition.“I was in an arranged marriage myself,” Sitwat said. “That is still very popular. My husband Bilal's family and my family were longtime friends, so I knew him.”
