Sure. Anyone can break the NFL single-game rushing record.

It's been snapped three times in this decade alone.

Adrian Peterson was the latest to accomplish that feat Sunday against the San Diego Chargers, who, the way they avoided tackling him, must have thought the Vikings rookie was stricken with the bird flu or was made of anthrax.

The record for the longest touchdown in NFL history seems to be broken every week.

Antonio Cromartie returned a missed field goal 109.9 yards for a touchdown for the Chargers. Unless the NFL switches to CFL rules, that record will never be broken.

But all those records are, frankly, borrrrrring. It's easy to roll up rushing yards against a defense that would rather fight a bull than tackle. It's a cinch to return a missed field goal the entire length of the field when there are a bunch of slow linemen chasing you.

There are much more interesting records:

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Most asterisks attached to one person/team: This is a battle royale between Barry Bonds and the New England Patriots.If you talk to DonShula, the Pats should have asterisks covering each player's helmet like buckeye leaf decals affixed to the headgear of the Ohio State University football team.If you talk to most baseball purists, Bonds should have an asterisk permanently tattooed on his forehead — or his forearms, they aren't picky.Winner: Bonds by a landslide. The last time Shula was relevant was in 1984.•

Most fumbles before halftime: Steve McNair took a run at the record against the Steelers.But I doubt anyone can challenge Brett Favre, who fumbled eight times in the first half of a Monday night game several seasons ago. At least he had an excuse: he had a broken thumb at the time.McNair's only excuse is he is aging and not very good.•

First team to "Oh" and 16: This is a battle royale between the Rams and the Dolphins.The Rams may give Marshall Faulk a call pretty soon. Steven Jackson has suddenly turned into Duce Staley.The Dolphins' troubles are well documented. When your quarterback is Cleo Lemon, your running back is Jesse Chatman and you trade your No. 1 receiver, things are pretty dire.In many ways, it's harder to go 0-16 than it is to go 16-0. Lemon is capable of forgetting he's, well, Cleo Lemon, and complete a few passes in a row. Jackson's hammy may stay intact long enough for the Rams to eke out at least one win.Edge: the Dolphins. If they do, I wonder if the members of this team will get together to pop champagne each year when the last defeated team wins?•

Most irrational diatribes after a 38-7 butt kicking on Monday night: The Ravens put this record way out of reach. It will never be broken.