One of my favorite songs repeats the chorus "every picture tells a story." While there is a figurative truth to this, who would think that my wife and I could act out a literal interpretation last week, too?

We were, of course, hanging pictures for our children in their freshly cleaned bedrooms. And holding true to form, it became competitive, as we created the first Ola bedroom cleaning contest, boys versus girls.

This is where the picture becomes clearer.

Boys hang pictures differently than girls, and how each person performs this task tells volumes about attitudes and priorities.

Let's just say that I took a style over substance approach to this menial task, as I hung pictures quickly and efficiently. At one point, I considered using the always-friendly-to-the-home-repair-moron duct tape to hang pictures of my son's favorite movie characters, Lightning McQueen and Tow Mater, around his room. Measurements were taken using my keen sense of vision and if the picture didn't stick, err, I mean hook properly, I simply added more adhesive or banged a few more nails.

His walls will look like Swiss Cheese when it's time to put new pictures up or paint, but the total time spent on the darn project was less time than it took the Steelers to blow out the hated Browns.

Now, let's discuss my wife's technique to hanging pictures. To say that she took her time is like saying Britney Spears has a PR problem.

Utilizing measuring tape, funny little pencils, hanging hooks and several other items I didn't recognize, she went into surgery prepared to clean my clock.

I didn't care. I had already won the competition, as I was sitting down watching television drinking a soda.

That didn't seem to matter to Mrs. Home Improvement. She was determined to make our daughter's pictures the straightest, most balanced pictures since the Louvre hung the Mona Lisa. Da Vinci would be proud of my wife. Actually, Coach Tomlin would be more proud of her as she executed each maneuver with deliberate, calm demeanor characteristic of a champion.

To be fair, I spent an equal amount of time surfing through all 912 stations on my television while she squinted, poked, marked, tapped, measured, re-marked, clenched her teeny little pencil in her teeth and finally pushed a specially made hangar hook into the wall.

Like her, my thumb hurt by the time I was finished, but it was due to pressing the channel up button 911 times while hers hurt from pushing in her easy to use Hercules hooks.

The kids arrived home and I was worried. What would my son think of his hastily hung images dotting his walls?

"It's great dad! A picture of Lightning McQueen and Tow Mater. They're my favorites." The kid knew all the right words and didn't give two hoots that his new pictures made our ceiling look crooked.

Princess (my daughter) entered her room as if she were an art-connoisseur, scrunching her nose and biting her lip. Finally, she spoke.

"They're perfect. Nice and straight, Mommy."

Every picture tells a story.

Christian Ola, a community columnist for the Butler Eagle, resides in Mars with his wife, son and daughter and can be reached through christianolac@aol.com.