I have a friend who is going to be a first-time dad later this fall, and he's filled with great expectations for his new life as a parent.

He'll be a great dad, but there are a few things that aren't in the manual to fatherhood he needs to know. What better forum or time than now, during Father's Day?

First, after being a dad twice and being rather, well, chunky around the middle myself, I can tell him that he will always look great wearing a princess crown while drinking imaginary tea from an iddy-biddy plastic cup. To enhance the look, he will likely have a magic wand and perhaps even white gloves that don't quite fit.

Another notable feature of being a dad is that he will get the opportunity to make up cool words and names that have NO meaning to anyone other than your child.

For example, I often find myself singing "Wakka wakka wakka, weeky weeky weeky, wakka wakka wakka wuuuuu" to my children simply to get them to laugh, or to eat their vegetables, or to get them to play the piano. Basically anything they don't want to do.

Sometimes, it's important to threaten the child with "counting to three" in order to get them to move beyond a snail's pace while picking up clothes, getting in the car or coming for a meal. Let me give you an example.

"Mia, if you don't get here by the count of three, you know what will happen! One. Two." At this point, the child always seems to arrive ready to explain why they were doing whatever it was they were doing. I still have never reached three, so I really don't know what might happen.

It's also important for any new dad to know that it's OK to cry during what appears to be inappropriate moments, such as when your daughter is picking flowers or your son swings from the monkey bars. Sometimes the emotions of simple, mundane events exceed the moments that are "gigantic" and filled with joy. I don't know why, but it's true.

Poker night with the buddies will likely be replaced by "bath and bed by 8" night, at least most of the time. And romantic dinners will involve any restaurant that doesn't have a drive-through or serve nachos.

Hunting season will last all year long, however, as he will be able to hunt for toys buried in toy chests, hunt for binkies, hunt for shoes and hunt for smelly milk bottles that are lost in his car.

Financing decisions will be made that seem perfectly illogical, such as spending $500 on a cool motorized teeny-tiny car instead of paying the mortgage. At the time, though, $500 is a small price to pay to see your children experience the thrills of getting stuck in the gravel driveway a gajillion times and you having to push them forward to get them moving.

Pushing them forward to get them moving. Hmmm. At the end of the day, that's probably what being a dad is all about. Doing anything necessary to push our kids forward enough to get them moving. That's why we do all these crazy things.

I wouldn't trade in being a dad for anything in the world. It's the greatest job in the world and a fraternity I'm proud to be a part of.

Happy Father's Day.