So the gig is up and "People" magazine has come out with the annual list of its 100 most beautiful people. And while I'm not a beauty aficionado, I can assure you that I have taken in my eyeful of models back in the day when I actually had to spend time blow drying my hair.

The problem is that the list is missing several key folks and includes far too many "accidental" celebrities. Allow me to explain.

Not surprisingly, Angelina Jolie is near the top of the list again. Now, if you've been stuck in a cave for the past half dozen years, Angelina is someone who doesn't really make too many movies anymore. Instead, she opts to break up marriages and pout for the cameras. It's nice work if you can get it, but there is a better, more obvious choice and she's local — my daughter.

Nobody pouts better than my daughter, except maybe her mother. I am happy to say that my 3-year-old daughter attempted to sidetrack the marriage of my friend, Corey, a few months ago, but she failed. Apparently, he prefers women that were born in the 1980s instead of 2003.

One of the guys on "People's" list this year is someone named James Blunt. Who?

It seems that James is a singer who used to be in the British Army, but NOT part of the British Invasion. He's had one hit here in the states; some sappy love song about seeing a girl on the train and not having the chance to tell her how beautiful she is. GAG!

If a guy has to be on the list, my vote goes to Sidney Crosby. The kid saved Pittsburgh hockey, while I'm sure James Blunt couldn't even lace up a pair of skates for anything more than figure skating.

Someone named Beyoncé is on "People's" list, too.

The first rule of my personal list of beauty is that you have to have two names. Maybe there could be three exceptions to the rule: Mario, Maz and Clemente. Anyone else is just a rip-off artist. Beyoncé is out, Mario, Maz and Clemente — in.

One person on the list who is also on mine is racecar driver Danica Patrick, but not for the obvious reason, either. Sure, she's beautiful and can trade paint at 225 mph, but her sponsor is also a mortgage company. During the day, I own a mortgage company, so obviously, Danica and I have so much in common we were likely separated at birth.

Some Aussie named Eric Bana is on the list, even though I'm not sure what he does. Like me, though, he claims that he looks best after riding a motorcycle and with "helmet" hair. I, too, get "hat" hair after removing my Green Bay Packers ball cap after furiously riding my lawn mower for an hour or so, and I'm sure we both smell like gasoline. Apparently that puts me on a level playing field with both him and Danica Patrick.

When it's all said and done, Western Pennsylvania should really come up with its own list of the 100 most beautiful people. After all, it's the most livable city with the second nicest drivers in America.

"People" magazine has nothing on us. E-mail me your suggestions to the "list" and I'll be happy to respond if you aren't too serious.

Christian Ola is a community columnist for the Butler Eagle who resides in Mars with his wife, son and daughter.