A look at dining diplomacy
CRANBERRY TWP — The Stapleford family has been told over the years that it has the "gift of hospitality."
Throughout his long military and government service, Randy Stapleford, and his wife, Rhonda, have had the pleasure of dining and socializing with military leaders, foreign dignitaries and other diplomats in formal, semi-formal and casual affairs.
He decided to put down his years of experience in an easy-to-read book entitled, "Representing America: The Culinary Art of Personalizing Relationships."
The Staplefords moved to Cranberry in September 2001, when Randy took a position at Carnegie Mellon University.
Their stint in Cranberry has been the longest for the Staplefords in any one place as they are both products of military families.
Their daughter, Allison, 18, attends classes in the Seneca Valley School District. They also have a daughter, Heather, 25.
"The culinary art of personalizing relationships is simply the art of making people feel good about themselves, their jobs and their lives," Randy penned in the book's introduction.
"It's about developing an attitude, a belief and a passion that will improve the way leaders lead, managers manage and performers accelerate performance, and friends intensify friendships. It might even make your next entertainment event an unforgettable event."
Both Randy and Rhonda love to entertain guests and consider it a privilege when someone offers them an invitation to dinner. Whatever the occasion, they plan to make it a memorable affair.
"Whatever way you're comfortable with (dining), do it with passion," said Rhonda. "You try to do things with a flair. Get to know the people you're dining with and make the meal personal. Leave them with an impression that doesn't go away, something that they can take with them — an unforgettable experience."
Randy explained his book is more than a cookbook. It also is about fundamental leadership and acting out "the golden rule." It gives advice about working with people and recognizing their performance.
The book explains that no matter whether you are an employee or employer, a salesperson or a customer, the ability to personalize relationships with those around you will determine your level of success.
Through a series of stories about social situations that the Staplefords have experienced around the dinner table, these leadership skills are presented.
Randy has had a long career in the U.S. Navy working in various capacities and with the U.S. State Department.The retired captain is a native of Philadelphia. He graduated in 1971 from Widener University. He entered the Aviation Reserve Officer Candidate School at Pensacola, Fla., and was commissioned a U.S. Navy ensign in July 1972.During his 31-year career, he served many tours of duty including in the air anti-submarine squadron and as a pilot on the USS Constellation, USS Kitty Hawk and USS Carl Vinson aircraft carriers.He flew more than 7,000 flight hours and had more than 700 carrier landings.After completing the College of Naval Warfare at the Naval War College in Newport, R.I., in 1989, he received leadership and administrative assignments.The Staplefords came to Cranberry after Randy was named the commanding officer/professor of naval sciences at the NROTC Unit at Carnegie Mellon.He retired from the Navy in 2003. In 2004, he accepted a position as Iraq country coordinator for the State Department. He later became country coordinator for the Philippines.
As a commanding officer of his flight squadron, one dinner-ending dessert remains Randy's most memorable and is detailed in the book.He had a dinner party for a man in the squadron who had been promoted. Randy learned the man's wife was terrified because she had never dined with "the boss" and English was her second language.Everything the Staplefords tried to get the woman to relax failed. Smiles were her only response.Stapleford planned to cook a banana flambe. During the process, he lost a fork holding a fiery orange peel, which ignited the table."Like any Top Gun pilot, I maintained my composure, stepped toward the burning table, carefully picked up my napkin and began to smother the fire," he wrote. "It didn't work. The fire grew and within seconds about one quarter of the table was in flames. Panic struck everyone. We grabbed our water glasses and began tossing water onto the flames. Shortly thereafter, the ring of fire was over."In the smoke-filled room, the woman, who was so quiet all through dinner, began to laugh so hard, her face was in tears.As the party moved to the family room for coffee, the woman became a nonstop talker, speaking perfect English."I had somehow succeeded in personalizing a relationship with this woman by nearly burning down our home," he wrote.
To order a copy of "Representing America: The Culinary Art of Personalizing Relationships," by Cranberry Township resident J. Randall Stapleford, contact the author at staplefordjr@yahoo.com
