Here are some common pitfalls to avoid when mothering a son (true for a daughter too), compiled by Dr. James Longhurst, vice president of clinical and psychological services at Montcalm Schools:

• Smothering — Becoming overprotective can be detrimental to your son. A mother who smothers is often afraid of the "bad evils" of the world. Her approach as a mom is protecting her son from the outside world. This approach is based on the magical belief that you can protect your child from the world out there. The result is that the adult son may withdraw or have fears associated with achievement and competition.

• Being too laissez-faire — The opposite of smothering, being too liberal is also a danger because it may encourage a boy to engage in too much risk-taking behavior. This pitfall can be born out of a mother's worry about her son being inhibited. The result is that this mother may encourage her son to take on opportunities earlier than he may be ready for them.

• Feeling guilty — This can happen most commonly with a divorced mother, who may be blaming herself or feeling shame because the son no longer has the everyday presence of his father in his life. Her guilt may be motivated by a fear that because she couldn't hold on to her husband, she may lose her son too. Or, she may be emotionally drained. This pitfall is characterized by giving in to the demands of the son and perhaps, buying him things to ease her feelings of guilt.

• Approaching parenting like business — There are many women today who maintain successful careers while parenting. These mothers need to be aware of any desire to approach raising a son like running a business. The characteristics of a good business person — demanding, task-oriented, problem-solving — don't necessarily have anything to do with raising a child. You have to meet your son at his needs. You have to tune into his personality. Forget schedules, business plans, and organization. Parenting takes a much more adaptive and adjustable approach.