Tips for parents of college-bound freshmen:

• Remember, it's a myth that parental control ends when kids turn 18. Young people between 18 and 25 are emerging adults who often need support from their parents and can benefit from a close relationship with them.

• Parents should do their own developmental work, preparing for the changes in their own lives when a child goes off to college. When parents are indecisive or unsure about the change, it sends the wrong signal to their children.

• Parents should convey their faith that the same competence that got the young person into college will see them through it well.

• Come up with a plan for handling spending allowances, and tailor it to the particular freshman. Some might be able to handle their own credit cards responsibly; others will need more parental oversight.

• How often should parents contact their college freshman? If your kid is begging you not to call so many times, or is waiting three days to respond to e-mail, that's a signal to make an adjustment. The kid will let you know.