You can't go more than a Tiger Woods tee shot without seeing one sticking out of the soil.

They are scattered over the landscape like dandelions.

Election signs.

They implore you to vote for Candidate A. For crying out loud, pick Candidate B. If you want to be free, vote for Candidate C.

There are more of them on a street corner than bottoms in the seats at PNC Park for a midweek day game.

But they are a symbol of America, of freedom, of democracy and of the political machine.

Positions in public office must be earned. Politicians must get their names out there to the masses or be cast aside when John Q. Public casts his vote.

There are no Jumbotrons in every day life. ESPN can tell you who's winning the batting race, but when it comes to the county commissioners race, we are on our own.

But wouldn't it be interesting if professional athletes had to campaign for fans' votes?

Wouldn't it be interesting if players had to run a campaign to win a vote for first base on the Pirates?

I wonder what the campaign slogans would be?

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First base for the Pirates: Cast a LaVote for LaRoche. On those warm, summer days, you don't need a fan, just the sweet, cool breeze of one of Adam's swings and misses.•

Quarterback for the Oakland Raiders: Hustle out and vote for Russell.

A vote for JaMarcus Russell is a vote against Aaron Brooks, Andrew Walter, Jeff George and every other loser who has ever taken a snap in the silver and black.•

Ace for the Yankees: If you want $2 million per win, the Rocket is your man.•

Home Run King: A Homer in Every Bay for Barry Bonds. When times are tough, rub some flaxseed oil on it.•

Yankees manager: Vote for Torre and don't swap horses in the middle of the stream. Hey, if it was good enough for Abe Lincoln, it's good enough for Joe Torre.•

Tampa Bay head football coach. Jon Gruden in '07: Read my lips, no new quarterbacks.•

Best Receiver in Football: Don't be a hanging Chad, vote for Johnson.•

Best Running Back in the NFL: The globe is warming to Frank Gore. This time, (Reggie) Bush wins the popular vote, but (Frank) Gore is elected.•

Steelers cornerback: I like Ike. Taylor is running unopposed, but you can't go wrong with a classic.•

Boston's fifth-starter: Jon Lester, for a kinder, gentler Red Sox Nation.•

Yankees fan favorite: I'm Alex Rodriguez and I approved this message. I'm tired of you people booing me. I hit 14 home runs in April. I drove in 34 runs in the first 25 games. Get off my back. I can't do anything about our 40-year-old pitchers whose arms are falling off. Leave me alone.Catchy, isn't it?•

NBA Most Valuable Player: Cast a LaVote for LaBron (yeah, I know that LaRoche guy is using it, too). Leave no man-child behind.Mike Kilroy is a staff writer for the Butler Eagle.