Some observations from a busy 24 hours in sports:

-- Big Papi hit a home run! Big Papi hit a home run! Wake the president!

Since when is it “breaking news” when a 33-year-old designated hitter hits a 380-foot pop up that barely clears the outfield wall? The only thing David Ortiz should be designated for is assignment.

-- My mom throws better than Trent Edwards, and she has a torn rotator cuff and the rheumatism.

Add the Buffalo Bills quarterback to the long list of dudes who just shouldn’t throw out the first pitch at a baseball game.

Edwards one-hopped a pitch in Toronto 15 feet up the first base line.

Somewhere, T.O. was frantically trying to get out of his Bills’ contract.

-- The Orlando Magic beat the Cleveland Cavaliers, millions evacuate the bandwagon.

Wow. That was quick. One loss and suddenly the Terminatoresque Cavs are like Zac Efron.

Cavs in five now, instead of four.

-- What’s with Padres’ players vetoing trades like former President Grover Cleveland vetoing, well, everything?

Last year Brian Giles said no to a trade that would have sent him to Boston. Thursday, Jake Peavy slammed the door on a deal that would have shipped him to the Chicago White Sox.

Sure. The weather is nice in San Diego and all, but the team stinks. Get out while you can, man.

-- Shaquille O’Neal is going to school to learn how to be a talk show host.

A network will give him one. That coupled with earthquakes, famine and Shaq hitting 10 straight free throws will lead to the end of the world.

Two words for you, Shaq: Magic Johnson.