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The Curious Case of Billy Beane

I guess Billy Beane will have to wait to get his Hollywood treatment.

The movie “Moneyball,” based on the Beane’s general managerial chops with the Oakland Athletics, won’t begin filming on schedule because Sony Pictures was unhappy with the script.

What was Sony expecting?

The movie is about a baseball general manager who uses numbers to build mediocre teams year after year. Not exactly a popcorn flick.

Sure, the A’s are always in contention with a bunch of hitters who strike out 150 times, walk 100 times and have a .234 average every season.

But it isn’t exactly an action-packed thrill ride.

The only thing more boring than a movie about Beane would be a movie about the Boston Red Sox groundskeeper who mows the Sox logo into the infield.

(How do they do that, anyway?)

The fact that Brad Pitt was involved in the project was an even bigger head scratcher. Was he going to “Troy” up Beane?

“Empires are forged by war ... franchises are built on OPS.”

Or play him like Benjamin Button?

“I was thinking how nothing lasts, and what a shame that is ... except for Jack Cust’s on-base percentage.”

How exciting can a movie about a desk jockey be? No wonder Sony pulled the plug. I’m sure the conversation with director and screenwriter Steven Soderberg went something like this:

Sony: “We don’t like the script.”

Soderberg: “What’s wrong with it? Didn’t you feel the tension when Beane struggled with the decision whether or not to excercise the contract option on Scott Hatteberg?”

Sony: “Um, yeah ... got anything else for us?”

Soderberg: “I do have this script about former Pittsburgh Pirates general manager David Littlefield ... don’t know if it is a comedy or a tragedy. I’ll let you decide.”

Oh, it would be a tragedy. Ask any Bucco fan.

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