Kazaam in Cleveland.

In a move that can be seen as nothing less than desperation, the Cleveland Cavaliers traded for the Big Diesel, the Big Aristotle the Big Ugly Free Throw Shooter.

Shaquille O’Neal.

He comes with a hefty waistline and a hefty price tag — $21 million.

The cost in players was negligible — Ben Wallace, Sasha Pavlovic and a second-round pick.

The Cavs are hoping the payoff will be huge.

It’s title or bust in 2009-10. The fans know it. The team knows it. LeBron James knows it.

The Orlando Magic know it.

In a counter move, the Magic acquired Vince Carter.

It’s a fun time to be a fan of The Association. Around this time of year, big names get swapped more than junk at a flea market.

The NBA is unlike the other major sports leagues because some crazy stuff happens.

Guys can be signed and then traded. You don’t hear of any sign-and-trade deals in any other sport.

Dudes can be drafted and then shipped away before the player can put the hat of his new team on his head.

Draft choices can be sold.

And coaches can coach only at home.

Phil Jackson has hatched a plan to only coach the Lakers next season at home, turning over the reigns of the team to Kurt Rambis on the road.

What? I guess when you have 10 championships and are the Zen master, you can do anything you want.

I wonder what Shaq thinks about his former coach mailing it in for half the schedule?

He probably doesn’t care. He has a title to win in Cleveland.

Hopefully this final act in Shaq’s career is better than his Kazaam movie.