I hate math — probably because I was never very good at it.

Solving for X made me ask “Y?” Solving for Pi just made me hungry for pie.

There was little doubt when I was a kid that I would go into a profession that didn’t require many math skills.

I chose sports journalism anyway.

Sure, words are important when you are a writer. But as a sports journalist, numbers are everywhere.

When we cover a game, it almost always involves quick calculations.

Football season started last week. I took a mental refresher course on how many yards a runner gains when he bolts from his own 23 to the opponent’s 46.

The answer is 31.

It took me just two seconds to figure that out.

Practice makes perfect.

Other feats of mathematical gymnastics require a bit more training.

And an abacus.

As each year passes, sports statistics become more and more convoluted.

Here are some of my least favorite sports statistics:

• First downs. This is a pet peeve of mine.

There were many high school football games last season in which the winning team had far fewer first downs than the losing team.

It’s about as useful as a Kardashian.

• Quarterback rating. You need a degree from MIT to figure this one out.

It was the brain child of Don Weiss, an employee of the NFL Hall of Fame, who whipped up with mess of a formula in 1971.

I’m pretty sure he never attended MIT.

All you need to know is that a 158.3 rating is perfect because, as we all know, nothing says perfection like 158.3.

To further blow your minds, a QB doesn’t even have to be perfect to get a perfect rating.

Genius.

• Wins Above Replacement. I’m declaring war on the WAR.

I’m not sure where this statistic came from, but it tries to determine how many more wins a player would earn his team than a replacement player at his position — basically any schlub toiling away at Triple-A.

Baseball is game of tremendous complexity. I’m not sure you can reduce someone’s value to a formula — no matter how complex it appears to be.

• Pancake blocks. Because offensive lineman are people, too, and they deserve a statistic — even one as inane as this one.

Assigning anyone a win in a team sport. This is more relevant in baseball where everyone gets giddy when a pitcher “wins” 20 games. But other team sports have begun assigning “wins” to individual players — quarterbacks in football for instance.

A pitcher/quarterback is just one player. He may influence the outcome more than any other, but he is never the sole reason why a team wins or loses a game.

Unless he has a perfect quarterback rating.

Mike Kilroy is a sports writer for the Butler Eagle.