The major league baseball season begins Sunday night and, before the first pitch is thrown, there are a few things we already know:

• The Pirates will have a losing season. If they don't, I will walk from my Butler home to the Honus Wagner statue outside PNC Park, bow before it and yell at the top of my voice: "I'm sorry, Neal Huntington. You da man!"

• The word "steroids" will come up one or two or a billion times.

• Either Chipper Jones, Milton Bradley or J.D. Drew will get injured or all three of them multiple times.

• Bud Selig will do, or say, something stupid.

That's what makes this time of year great for baseball fans. Other than the above inevitabilities, everything else is up for grabs.

The New York Yankees backed up the Bronx, er, Brinks truck and dumped $150 million at the feet of Mark Teixeira, CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett.

Yet the Yanks could miss the playoffs or win the World Series. We don't know.

The Cleveland Indians could make a run at a title or lose 90 games. We don't know.

The Dodgers could be the best team in the National League with Manny Ramirez bashing in the middle of the lineup or Manny could be Manny, pout about not getting a date with Alyssa Milano, fake a xiphoid process injury and turn the Dodgers into what they were for most of the season: average. We don't know.

On April 2, everyone thinks they have a chance for greatness.

Yes, even the Pirates.

Of course, by May, most of those dreams will be dashed.

When Ian Snell has an ERA approaching the minimum wage and Adam and Andy LaRoche's combined batting average is equal to Ichiro's, reality will set in.

But, in early April, everyone can dream, because, well, we don't know.

Here's some other fearless predictions:

• Giovanni Ribisi will play the role of Dustin Pedroia in a made-for-TV movie about the reigning American League MVP.

• After struggling in his first month back in Oakland, Jason Giambi will regrow his mustache, go on a tear and win the American League MVP Award.

Giambi's world will be rocked, though, when news is leaked that the slugger's MVP season was the result of his use of a PEH: Performance Enhancing Hairgrowth.

• Following the lead of the Atlanta Braves, who signed Chipper Jones to a contract extension through 2012, the Phillies extend Jamie Moyer's contract until he turns 75 the speed of his fastball.

• Baseball fans will discover Shin-Soo Choo is an outfielder for the Indians, not a dinner option at a Korean restaurant.

• The Pirates reveal their new motto: the baseball Stynx, but we have Styx.

Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto.

Mike Kilroy is a staff writer for the Butler Eagle.