Perhaps crazier than a week filled with shocking celebrity deaths was the fact that United States cared about soccer again.

For a fleeting day, at least, Americans flocked to their televisions to watch a bunch of dudes kick a ball up and down the field.

The U.S. men's soccer team nearly shocked the world, but ultimately it lost to Brazil amid a shower of second-half goals — and what sounded on TV like a trillion bee stings — in the Confederation Cup Finals.

The U.S. was up 2-nil at the half, then choked the lead away in the second half.

No, A-Rod, Phil Mickelson and the New York Mets roster were not on the field at the time.

Still, the U.S. performance was an inspired one and ranks near the top of the All-Horseshoe and Hand Grenade list:

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No. 10: The 1997 Pittsburgh Pirates. The Pirates, with a payroll cheaper than New York Yankees season tickets, nearly won the NL Central but finished 79-83 and five games behind the Houston Astros.Strangely, most of America found out the Pirates were eliminated from the race on a live telecast of the TV show "ER."The Pirates have been on life support ever since.•

No. 9: The 1989 Windham Bombers golf team. Out of nowhere, I shot a 2-under-par 32 at the Kent State University golf course, giving our winless team a legitimate shot at an upset.Or so I thought.Our No. 1 golfer was disqualified after leaving the course in the middle of his round, partly in disgust and partly in mortal fear after lining an iron shot off a tree and watching it sizzle mere inches past his temple.It was just another disheartening loss on the way to a 0-32 season.•

No. 8: Billy Heywood. In the movie "Little Big League," the 11-year-old managed the Minnesota Twins to a one-game playoff against the Seattle Mariners, but lost in extra innings.Years later, as a grizzled 15-year-old chain smoker, he cited the fact that he was unable to trade for fireballing 12-year-old pitcher Henry Rowengartner at the deadline as the reason for the failure.•

No. 7: Rocco Mediate, 2008 U.S. Open. A two-legged Rocco was almost good enough to beat a one-legged Tiger.•

No. 6: The 1997 Cleveland Indians. For a long-suffering fan base, the Indians seemed poised to finally win the World Series.But then Jose Mesa happened. Then Tony Fernandez happened. Then Edgar Renteria happened. Then laryngitis and tears happened.•

No. 5: The 2009 U.S. men's soccer team. Soccer gets another 15 minutes of came in the U.S.•

Nos. 4, 3, 2 and 1: The 1990-93 Buffalo Bills.The quintessential bridesmaids, the Bills advanced to the Super Bowl four straight seasons only to lose in the worst possible ways.Wide right was bad enough for tortured Buffalo fans such as I. Then Thurman Thomas misplaced his helmet. Then Jim Kelly misplaced the football 10 times in a 52-17 rout against the Cowboys. Then, with his helmet on his head and the football on the ground, Thomas choked away a 13-3 halftime lead against Dallas in the final, humiliating Super Bowl defeat.In the immortal words of Ricky Bobby, "If you ain't first, you're last."Mike Kilroy is a staff writer for the Butler Eagle.